I was the Editor-in-Chief of my high school yearbook. I know, über-nerdy right? I wasn't very good at it to be honest. The yearbook was a finalist for a prestigous national award, so it was designed well and the final product was nice (and late), but my overall ability to lead the staff was an utter failure. I made many, many mistakes.
But one thing we were good at: debating. Didn't matter the topic. I had a staff full of women - including one exgirlfriend and a few other very close friends of another exgirlfriend - and one very quiet man. Needless to say, many times it was me versus them all (with the man abstaining).
As Christmas approached, one day the topic of Santa Claus came up. I made the statement that I was not going to tell my kids there was a Santa Claus.
Ohhh....my....gosh! You would have thought I said I will let my kids spend the night with Michael Jackson and Christopher Walken.
I got accused of not fostering a creative environment for my kids.
I got accused of ruining Christmas for all my friends kids.
I got accused of not letting my kids enjoy being kids.
I know how the pictured Santa felt a bit.
But no, just a simple desire not to ever set a precedent of lying to my kids was my motive.
Now I will freely admit that this was right at the height of my extreme "conservative" stage - one many of my current friends won't believe I ever went through. But even with the loosening of my perspective on many things, I still feel I won't tell them there is a Santa.
I think there is already so much pressure from culture to redefine what Christmas is all about. It becomes about the presents, or about family, or about giving, or about joyfulness. And while none of those are per se bad, it isn't really what the season is about at its core.
But it goes beyond this. I know one of my greatest strengths, but also greatest weakness, is that I try to live be a mantra of honesty above all. And while that sometimes means I am not as compassionate and caring as I should be, I do believe that you can rarely go wrong with telling the truth.
I think this becomes all the more important with children. There is already such an innate skepticism with kids as they grow up towards their parents. Why feed into that? Not just with Santa, but in all areas of life.
Apparently I am not the only one. Carl Honoré wrote an article titled "Well, Virginia, It's a Longer Story..." about the "Great-Santa Debate" in a recent article in the Washington Post. But then of course, you have all those wonderful Macy's commercials with the comforting confirmation of Santa's existence from the likes of Martha Stewart and Donald Trump.
So what do you think? How were you raised? How are you raising (or planning on raising) your kids?
The largest hurdle I have in believing that there is a God is the existence of evil. I know this doesn't make me unique, or profound.
I was watching Dirty Sexy Money earlier this week and resonated so strongly with the following clip. Brian is the religious one - but by no means the Saint - in the family. As the show develops, one realizes he really is the metaphorical example of all of us struggling with good and evil.
I love the honesty. The rawness. The emotion. It reminds me of when Jeremiah laments in the Bible by saying, "You deceived me, LORD, and I was deceived. You seized me and prevailed..." As an Old Testament professor once said, deceived is a "soft translation." Deceived, should be raped. But you never hear that story in Sunday school.
I once preached a sermon in Indiana where I read the passage where Jesus said that "his burden is easy and his yoke is light." I followed up by saying, "yeah right!" Had I been bolder I think the better phrase would have been, bullshit.
There is nothing about this world that seams easy - and I say that having lived on both sides of the faith continuum. Why is there so much pain if an Omnibenevolent Being is behind it?
Here's the truth, I don't know.
As much as I love Robert Frost's poem, I think there are really three roads that can be taken in life.
There are those who take the road of naiveté. They say things like, "all works out for the good in the end" or "evil is just a byproduct of a fallen and imperfect world." Meanwhile ignoring the true sense of injustice in the world. Not recognizing that there is legitimate, undeserved suffering in the world.
There still others that say fuck it. They take the road of bitterness. There can't be a God. They don't understand evil, it makes no sense, therefore the only logical conclusion is there is no intelligence or compassion behind this world. Meanwhile ignoring the good that some how comes from nowhere, and the beauty all around us, and all the benevolence that can be generated by them.
And then there is the third road. This road gets traveled the least. It is a road that freely admits they don't have any answers on this one - but wish they did. It is a road that doesn't offer up cheesy clichés in the face of injustice or sorrow, but will cry with you when it happens. It is a road that doesn't become bitter at the evils society face, but recognizes there is work to be done to help overcome them. It is a road that humbles, but also empowers one to do something about it - even if little impact can be made - which is tough to accept.
And while I know the one taken less, I freely admit I do not know which will make all the difference in the end. But I know which one I have chosen.
I once went to Juarez, Mexico with 40 other people to build 2 houses in about 25 hours. It was July and if memory serves me correct it was 195°. It was crazy and exhausting.
We had laid the foundation. Put up the studs and drywall. Spackled. Etc. All that was left was to lay the roof. All I had to do was bend the shingles over the roof and nail them to the side of the house. Simple right?
Well I think I am doing just a fabulous job and one of the adult leaders - who mind you built his own house with his bare hands - comes up and says, "you've been working hard, why don't you take a break."
I retreat off the ladder and grab a Sprite from the cooler. About five minutes later I look over and see the adult leader ripping out what I had just done!
That's right folks, I sucked so bad at handiwork that it wasn't good enough for an impoverished family who before we showed up didn't have a home. Pretty humbling, huh?
Now I don't blame this youth leader. He was right to do it. The worked suck - despite my hard efforts. The lesson was simple: I am not good at construction.
Fast-forward 10 years later.
I buy a house. And while I have to admit I was a little nervous about the financials (who isn't?), I was more nervous about the fact that I am not real handy around the home.
It's been great though. Since buying the house I have:
But nothing like this. You may remember the horrendous day I had back in August.
$1,100 dollars later, I had a fixed air conditioner, a de-molded ceiling and wall, and a giant hole in my ceiling.
After getting sick of spending so much money I decided to try and patch the giant hole myself. So I went to Home Depot and bought what I thought I needed. And at last, the project is done. It looks good. Not great. But good.
Two conclusions came from the project: First, I hate popcorn ceiling now more than ever. I almost didn't buy the house because of it. It aesthetically looks awful. However, I hate it even more now as it is near impossible to spread to match the current ceiling - and was surprisingly the hardest part of this project.
But the more important lesson is how important it is to do things that help us overcome our insecurities. I freely admit I legitimately feel like less of a man because of my lack of handyman skills.
Maybe I shouldn't. And I am not saying all men need to be Mr. Fix-It. Nor should they feel insecure if they aren't. But I do. And it has been very affirming completing these projects.
We all think about our insecurities a lot - that's what makes them insecurities - but how much time do with think about what needs to be done to overcome them?
Niki (not real name): "I thought you said your cousin is a Christian? He's so fun."
Julia: "Yeah, being a Christian isn't his problem."
Niki: "Well what's his problem?"
Julia: "He blogs."
This was a conversation my cousin had with a friend of her's after I met up with them in East Atlanta after the show on Saturday.
I had no alcohol that night and my sister was still able to get me dancing up on a pool table with everyone else - something most of my friends find astonishing.
The night was a blast, but it was the above conversation that got me the most excited. So even though they make fun of my blogging, I decided to blog about it.
Earlier that week our show was rejected by a potential station in Mississippi because, as they put it, "our show is too risque for their market." Keep in mind, they aren't a Christian station - they are a mainstream, secular station. True, it is Mississippi, but still, a mainstream station rejecting a show about faith because they are too risque. Awe-some!
My response: "Can I quote that when developing our marketing campaigns."
Both of the above statements mean much to me because they reinforce that I am living the vision and purpose I set out to live - both professionally and personally.
As my cousin said later in the above conversation, "Andy is a real Christian - he isn't judgmental."
Now at this point you are thinking, wow this post is incredibly egocentric - which I do not deny.
But I have said over and over on this blog that the judgementalism and lack of grace usually exuded by Christians is a significant problem with their ability to relate to this world.
In our attempt to make the right choice, we end up treating people with disdain with a lack of compassion that is incredibly obvious and unsupportive to loving this world.
So on Saturday night, I didn't get drunk, but refused to judge those who did.
And on Saturday night, I didn't go home with anybody - even though I am pretty sure I could have (shut up Cassie) - but didn't look down on those who did.
I just had a great time with some fun people and I look forward to doing it again.
So while there are many, many ways I fall short of the standard I attempt to live up to (like being egocentric while blogging), I find the two conversations above to be encouraging.
I often feel like the least forgiving place in this world is the place that should be the most. As the saying goes, "the church seems to shoot their wounded."
This saddens me how few people recognize how imperfect we all are, and how all sin is equal in the eyes of God. When will we try to be as forgiving as God.
I know I can't post them all, but if you follow Post Secret, you will be astonished how many of them are about carrying around guilt and shame years - sometimes even decades - after something happened.
...Women who are vegans because egg yolks remind them of their abortions
...Men who feel bad about the way they treated people in high school
...First time sexual experiences that were not what they expected
...Mothers missing their daughters because they don't speak after and event
...Fathers knowing they should never have left their kids
...Business deals that fell through
...Friends mistreating and taking advantage of other friends
Stop carrying the guilt around with you. God forgives - even if we don't.
Be sure to visit Post Secret for more interesting looks into the human condition.
There is little in this world that makes me angrier than this mindset. People are so lost to the idea that a.) God is an pro-American, and b.) God is a pro-Republican that I am sure the mindset above rings all too true in millions of homes around the country.
It makes me want to vote Democrat for no other reason than to send the message to the Church that God is bigger than their political ideologies.
(Although I am sure this rings true in Democrat homes as well, so if that is the case, then vote Republican).
Be sure to visit Post Secret for more interesting looks into the human condition.
It's a surprisingly cold March evening in a city much further north than Atlanta. Two teenagers find themselves in a cheap, Pontiac Grand Am - that is at least a decade old - after a high school sporting event. She had been there to cheer the team on to victory; he was suppose to take her home afterward. But neither of them really wanted to go home and - since there was no school the next day - they went for a drive. The two had been dating for sometime, and as teenagers often to do, they thought they were in love.
It was one of those drives that as they get older they will have less and less. Drives that really have no purpose - just an excuse for spending more time together until curfew. A drive that always ends too soon, but a drive that lasts forever in the memories reserved for the "good times."
On this particular drive, one thing lead to another on the starless night, and the two made love. It was the kind of love that those older and more experienced wouldn't call great, but it was all that they knew, and it was great for them. And just because the greatness might have been lacking, the mechanics worked the same, and against all odds, one of the million sperm released found its way to its destiny. It was a sperm that would change everything. And the only witness to this unexpected world changing moment was a moose...
Admit it, until you got to the moose part, you thought I was writing about my own experience? But there are no moose in Indiana and this isn't my story. It is the story of Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston - with some creative liberties I am sure.
Bristol Palin is the 17-year old daughter of Sarah Palin - John McCain's running mate. And in a move that caused everyone to rollover in their grave, Bristol Palin is 5-months pregnant, and John McCain knew this and still selected Sarah Palin as his running mate.
My first thought is if you would have told those teens whenever/wherever they were doing it that this event would have national implications, I bet they would think you are crazy. But then I realized what I really should be thinking about is how glad I am the mistakes I made in high school (and beyond) weren't under the national spotlight.
But here is where I am going to make everybody, no matter where you stand on this story, angry. This story both highlights the hypocrisy of Republicans/Christians, as well as the illogic of the Democrats/Secularists.
I am not for politicians, pastors, and leaders stepping down in their roles when they make stupid personal morality decisions. I have been saying so for years. Whether we want to admit it or not, the mindset behind those who think leaders need to be perfect come from those who subconsciously think they are perfect...and that there families are perfect.
But Republicans & Christians a like (not saying they are the same) need to recognize that most of us are hypocrites, but that is ok. That's the point of grace. Life is messy. Families are messier. And we all do stupid things from time to time. The idea that "Sarah Palin can't run her household" or that "Bill Clinton shouldn't have been leading a country" is absolutely ridiculous. Some of the greatest leaders of all time have had huge moral failures in their life, but with out them, this world would be drastically different.
Two Examples (I could list more): The Apostle Peter & Martin Luther King, Jr.
Liberals on the other hand need to stop using this as an example of a woman's and/or family's "right-to-choice." Just because a family chose to keep the baby, does not change the moral question of when life begins, and therefore, the value of not taking that life, one bit.
Those who read this know that I am open to the discussion on when life begins. But the idea that Bristol's situation indicates that we shouldn't defend life is absurd at best, and deplorable at worst.
I will say one more thing that will infuriate everyone even more. Levi & Bristol should not be getting married. A shotgun wedding is taking a bad situation and making it a permanent, worse situation. If the kids are in love and would have gotten married anyways, then fine. But a baby is never a reason to marry. It doesn't make the conception anymore "holy," and it shouldn't make everyone else feel better with the situation.
My sympathies go out to Bristol and Levi. To use a hockey term: who knew two teens slipping one past the goalie would have such large implications on the election of the most powerful man in the world.
On a side note, I have been asked by a few to comment on my feelings about Sarah Palin as VP. I will do so in a blog that will be release on Monday. Enjoy the weekend.
One of the greatest moments in a Presidntial Campaign happened last night and I am pretty sure we all missed it because we were watching Phelps get his 8th gold medal.
I am not really sure who "won" this discussion; Obama, McCain, and Warren for that matter all represented themselves beautifully. But I know with out a doubt, hands down who the losers were: James Dobson, Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, Al Franken, Bill Maher, and countless others.
Warren showed us what it truly means to be a patriotic American and to ask the tough questions that we aren't all going to agree on, but deserve to be discussed in a civil, mature, and respectful manner.
There was no "Stop Obama Expresses" allowed at Saddleback. There were no "Evil Neocon Bush Administrations." Simply tough, fair, and introspective questions for two people running for a very tough job.
In the opening segment Warren made the comment
I have to tell you upfront but both these guys are my friends. I don't happen to agree with everything either teach or believe, but they both care deeply about America. They're both Patriots and they have very different views on how America can be strengthened in America. We've got to learn to disagree with out demonizing each other and we need to restore civility. We need to restore civility in our civil discourse and that's the goal of the Saddleback Civil Forum.
Great job Rick! I am very proud of you. Great job!
A Good Recap If You Don't Have 2 Hours
What You Should Watch, Even If You Have to Take Breaks
Since January, people always come up / email / send messenger pigeon to me saying, "can you believe Allen became Catholic." And I always say, "for those of us who know Allen, it really wasn't that much of a surprise." And I can attest that since becoming Catholic, not much has changed.1
One thing that has changed: Allen has increased his use of the phrase the "seven deadly sins" exactly2 834%.
The seven deadly sins make for a great movie3 but awful theology. The ranking of sin itself is determinental to a true understanding of grace and redemption.
The Catholic church has taught for years there are two categories of sins: venial and mortal. Venial being your light everyday sin that must be easy for God to forgive.4 Mortal, or deadly, being the stuff God must have to work at to forgive you.5
But it isn't just the Catholics. We all do it. Please rank with your best Protestant Theology from most to least likely to be shamed.
Worked everyday of the week
Looked at pornography
Thought of myself better than the homeless man
Lied to a friend about plans
Cheated on a spouse
Used the words God Damn It
Disrespected a parent on national radio
Downloaded MP3s illegally
Used Ecstasy recreationally
My guess is you would rank it: 5-9-2-7-4-6-3-8-1
If I came to you and said, "hey, I was just really busy this last week. Boss really riding me. Worked every single day of the week." Would you even think there was anything wrong with that?
Now let's say I cheat on my wife.6Now let's say I regularly sleep with my girlfriend.7 Now let's say I came to you and said, "hey, for the last five years I have had a sex buddy. We have no real relationship, but you know, we both have needs, and we both get pretty stressed out, so you know, from time to time we are 'friends with benefits'." Tell me you would not think differently in this case?
The point. We all rank sin. But does God?
The way I read it, there is no goody-two-shoes in the Bible.8
Paul, killed thousands.
Peter, denied his relationship to Jesus when Jesus needed him the most.
David, slept with Bathsheba, tried to cover it up, murdered her husband.
Abraham prostituted his wife for safety.
Name one person in the Bible who actually lives up to a sanctified life.
Heck, even sweet Ruth seduced Boaz on the threshing floor.
Do any of these sound like your pastor? Better yet, let's say your pastor did any of this, do you think he would keep his leadership position?
The modern Church has missed out on being apart of the story of redemption and grace for thousands of years. And it is all due to the fact we have an erroneous, sanitized view of redemption and it starts with the ranking of sin.
I have wrestled with a question for years; probably since I was at least 8. It's an odd question, especially for an 8 year old. Ready?
Is death the only thing that makes life enjoyable?
As years past, and my belief in Christ grew, I have later rethought the following question this way: is eternal life really an eternal hell?
I very much enjoyed a short-lived show on Fox this past year called New Amsterdam. It was about a man (John Amsterdam) who had been alive since 1642, who couldn't age or die until he found his true love. Through out the centuries he married different women, held different jobs, but in the contemporary, he was a police investigator. Because of all this, the show had a weird modern crime fighting feel mixed with a quirky historical feel with a slight touch of a romantic comedy.
In the pilot, John asks the following question to his son (yes, his son is the older, half-black gentleman in the clip).
"To be human is to die. To die is what makes life worth living."
I remember being assigned a book to read in high school titled "Tuck Everlasting." I say be assigned because the only two things I remember about that book was: a.) not being able to participate in the Socratic Seminar because I was honest about my failure to read the book, and b.) the book was about people who found the secret to everlasting life and how they grew to resent it. I guess it was made into a movie in 2002 (which I was unaware of until writing this), and it's tagline sums it up: "If you could choose to live forever, would you?"
Seriously. I know I am like the worst minister ever because most of the modern presentation of the Gospel is built on the premise that all want to live forever. But that is not why I believe in the Gospel. Nor is it why I think you should believe in the Gospel. In fact, I often wonder if heaven is going to get boring after a while?
Think about it. If you never die, what motivates you? If you have unlimited amount of time to spend with your kids, do you still want to? If you don't have to eat to stay alive, do you still work? If you have just as much time to marry, or see the Pyramids, or watch the Cubs go the World Series today, as you did yesterday, why do any of those things matter?
The weird thing about it is that we don't really have a choice in this matter do we? We either are eternal souls, and as Colin Hay would say, "waiting for our real life to begin." Or, all there is to this life is the material, and when our 80 years or so are up, we're done. Not sure which is better, but I guess I shouldn't lie around and ponder for too long.
Andy's blog aims to be like a Scrubs episode, mixed with a Chuck Klosterman column, centered around the topic of faith. It is open, honest, raw, and a little embarrassing. It is a place to discuss religion, politics, ministry, pop culture, and well, just life - especially focused on the time of life we call our 20s!
Andy is the Executive Producer of The Allen Hunt Show; a progressive (in the literal sense), talk radio show based in Atlanta, GA aimed at bringing faith back into the public discussion. Andy enjoys travel, aviation, web design, politics, friends, and faith. He holds that the secret to a full life is loving God and loving people - which he fails at constantly.
Andy grew up in Fort Wayne, IN. He now lives in Alpharetta, GA.
Andy's Blog
I was the Editor-in-Chief of my high school yearbook. I know, über-nerdy right? I wasn't very good at it to be honest. The yearbook was a finalist for a prestigous national award, so it was designed well and the final product was nice (and late), but my overall ability to lead the staff was an utter failure. I made many, many mistakes.
But it goes beyond this. I know one of my greatest strengths, but also greatest weakness, is that I try to live be a mantra of honesty above all. And while that sometimes means I am not as compassionate and caring as I should be, I do believe that you can rarely go wrong with telling the truth.
I once went to Juarez, Mexico with 40 other people to build 2 houses in about 25 hours. It was July and if memory serves me correct it was 195°. It was crazy and exhausting.
Niki (not real name): "I thought you said your cousin is a Christian? He's so fun."
Since January, people always come up / email / send messenger pigeon to me saying, "can you believe Allen became Catholic." And I always say, "for those of us who know Allen, it really wasn't that much of a surprise." And I can attest that since becoming Catholic, not much has changed.
