We are on our final Women We Love - Andy Trip Edition and I saved the most intriguing for last: Angela.

But before I get into that, you need to watch this Seinfeld clip.


I like where Jerry is going with this, but personally I would go up a few percentage points. I'd go as far as to say that 99.5% of women - and maybe 99.9% of people are undateable. Thus 5 in every 1,000 women I meet might be dateable.

Now I am not one of those Christians that thinks there is only one person out there for me, but I do feel the pool is pretty limited (for an example as to why read this and the comments).

Thus my frustration in dating. I'd probably be more inclined to believe Jerry if faith weren't as important of a factor. But it is, which rules out a lot of people I would for any other reason like to date.

But what does this have to do with Angela?

Angela is the only person I have ever met that isn't a compromise in any area. Does this mean she is perfect, of course not. But regarding the - say five - major traits that are important to me in dating, nothing is compromised. She is the Stolen girl I blogged about at the beginning of the year.

So needless to say, when I realized she was leaving Los Angeles and going to be in Lexington for Christmas, I diverted my normal route to Fort Wayne through Louisville, and pushed my departure back a day to have dinner.

Amidst our conversation at Chedder's (her pick) about poverty alleviation, and core theology related to ministry, and growing up with similar family situations, and preaching sermons, she includes, "I can tell you'd be really fun to have sex with." In interest of brevity I'll leave her reasoning out.

Now I don't think there is a man in this world that wouldn't want to hear that - for obvious reasons. But there is a less obvious, additional reason why I loved the above statement.

Let's just assume for one minute that a lot of women think this (big assumption). And let's just assume that out of those women, some of them have a deep faith (also probably a big assumption). What I love about Angela is that she didn't just think it; she said it.

It is no secret that I have a tendency to put my foot in my mouth. This comes from basically saying what I think...all...the...time. And while there are many of my qualities I find annoying when other people have them (which probably means I am annoying), this isn't one of them.

I'd take someone who just says what they think, and on the rare occasion offend, than just thinking stuff and holding it in until it was "safe" to say any day. This whole blog (particularly this post) is evidence of that.

Thus a year later and the Stolen girl remains the Stolen girl thanks to a once-a-year meal in Lexington, KY.

It has been another long day. Up around 8 when Jadyn gets up after a night of minimal sleep due to Asher not sleeping through the night. The next 14 hours are spent non-stop taking care of the kids and tending to the new house.

She walks down the stairs after a very long process of putting Jadyn to bed - as breathtakingly beautiful and sexy as she was before popping out two kids - and instead of passing out on the couch next to her lazy husband and her lazy husband's lazy friend, she looks at CJ and I and asks, "would you guys like fruit smoothies."

This is Andrea. She is amazing. And she more than anyone deserves to be a woman we love.

More on this later...

I once went to a church service that had a silhouetted drama skit of two scenes: a groom with his best man and a bride with her maid of honor. The skit was about conflicting expectations after marriage.

It became painfully obvious the antagonist in this story was the best man - mainly due to the new wife's low opinion of her new husband's best friend. I remember nothing else from the service but one single thought: "man am I glad Andrea is as cool as she is."

It is one thing to have a best friend in life as cool as CJ. It is quite another to have my best friend's wife be my second best friend.

She works at least twice as hard as I do - and complains half as much.

She is more patient and nurturing with her kids than anyone I have ever known.

She unconditionally loves and respects her husband - even when he doesn't deserve it.

She lets her husband's best friend spend weeks at her house, including over their anniversary, with out blinking an eye.

Simply put she is the most wonderful woman I know.

Some may look at this and think it isn't very feminist, but I would argue she is a perfect model of feminism because she is living the life she set out to live.

I don't feel that it has to be a woman's place to stay home and raise the kids. And even though I have spent most of my 20-something existence making financial decisions that will hopefully enable my wife to stay at home if that is what she wants, I also have no problem if pursuing a career is something that is important to her.

But feminism is about choice. This gets forgotten. It isn't doing about what is expected - albeit a career or homemaker. It is about knowing what one wants in life and not having anyone prevent that. Andrea knew what she wanted out of life, and is phenomenal at it.

I have (probably mistakenly) told more than one girlfriend that I don't really care what my mom thinks of you, it's Andrea who you really have to be worried about. She is with out a shadow of a doubt Supermom and Superwife and definitely a woman I love.

I love coming home to Indiana for vacation. I have great friends in CJ & Andrea that feel like family (more on that later this week). I get along better with my real family now more than I ever have, and I truly enjoy spending time with them.

But one thing I have really grown to love is the "once-a-year" meals I share with people I don't get to see very often. The conversation is always intriguing; hearing all about what has happened in the time apart. Seeing how we have grown to who we are today, compared to where we were the last time we talked.

And, since by some natural law of the universe that states I am only allowed to have one guy friend in any given region, these conversations are usually with women (hence the mini-blog series). This Christmas I met up with a long-time-ago exgirlfriend named Ashley.

I hadn't talked to Ashley in over 8 years. The last time I saw her was at least senior year of high school. She was a cheerleader in high school, but incredibly intelligent. She went on to Purdue and eventually took a job in engineering.

We had "talked" a few times on Facebook this year about various things, and so decided to get together for lunch over Christmas.

Ashley has grown into an incredibly beautiful, successful, and talented engineer at a large cooperation in Kentucky. And our conversation seemed to end too quickly.

But you want to know what I loved most about our lunch at Yen Ching? Well...I can't tell you.

Now I know Erik is probably thinking up some salacious reason as to why I can't tell you, but that isn't it. Really, I can't tell you because most wouldn't understand. I would come off even more conceited than I actually am.

So if I can't really tell you, why blog about it? Because we all need people in our lives that "get" where we are at. We need people - who sometimes may not have been really close friends - but who understand what is great about our current place in life, while at the same time understand the struggles and insecurities that come with it.

Ashley gets what it is like to be the youngest person by 20 years in meetings. She gets what it is like moving away to a town where you know no one in pursuit of career aspirations. She gets what it is like owning a home in the burbs while the rest of the 20-somethings live in the city.

It is a similar reason as to why I love CJ as much as I do. We get each other.

In January I mentioned the Duke University study that states Americans have fewer friends and confidants than they did 30 years ago. I have been blessed to have some amazing friendships. And the lunches like the one I shared with Ashley are what keep me from going nuts.

I know I have been awful at blogging recently, but I took a break. I have had a wonderful time up in Indiana and still have another 5 days or so.

Hanging out with CJ & Andrea is always a blast. I am the only person I know who wakes up at 11 am for work most days, but on vacation gets up at 9 and is generally exhausted all day. But I love it. Nothing like being woken up by a beautiful girl, even if she is only three.

Some of the cutest things Jadyn has said this trip:

• Uncle Andy, can you wear your hat? You look cool.
• Can we play hide and go seek? ... (1 minute later before she counts to 10) ... ok you go hide in the closet ... (don't think she quite gets the concept of hide and go seek)
• Can you not check your email and just watch me play?

And not to leave the Ash-man out of things. I figured I'd post of video of Asher and I. He can't rollover yet, but I swear I am going to see him walking before I leave on Saturday. His legs are crazy strong - as you can tell by the video. Be sure to wait for the end.


Between being spit up on all week and the fumes from the midget racing inside the Memorial Coliseum, I pretty much have smelled this entire week.

Well that's some fun stuff for now. I am going to blog later on this week about four of my favorite women of the trip - which include one of the Stolen girls, an exgirlfriend I haven't talked to since senior year of high school, and of course, Andrea and Jadyn. Think of it my own version of Esquire's "Women We Love."

I recently had AT&T U-verse installed at the home. Thus far, way better than Comcast. But last Friday after it was installed, I was checking out the new features and was flipping through the channels when Julia Stiles graced my screen.

I love Julia Stiles. Now I'll be the first to admit many think she isn't that great of an actress. I'll also acknowledge that some do not find her all that attractive. But I don't care. I am not sure what it is about her, maybe her Scandinavian-vibe (even though she isn't), but I'll watch just about anything she is in.

• 10 Things I Hate About You
• Save the Last Dance
• The Omen
• All the Bourne movies

You are probably now questioning my sexuality (which would not be valid) - as well as questioning my taste in movies (which would probably be valid).

But I had never seen the movie that was on my TV screen, so I watched it. Later I learned it was called The Prince & Me. A classic, chick-porn story of a college pre-med student who unknowingly falls in love with the Prince of Denmark. Of course. Happens all the time, right?

The movie was alright, but it was this scene that made watching the movie worth it.



What do you know now that you wish you would have known 10 years ago?

We had John Izzo on the show back in June and he talked about his new book The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die.

One thing he said that hit me really hard is that most of the people he interviewed for the book said they wish they had taken more risks in their life. Few regretted risks they took that failed, but many regretted not taking risks at all.

I have thought about this a lot over the past six months.

I usually consider myself a risk taker. I certainly have taken risks professionally. I even took perceived risks in education and travel (i.e. studying abroad in the middle east, flying immediately after 9/11, etc...). Learning to fly is a risk. Many would say my driving style is a risk.

I am less inclined to take risks when it comes to the interpersonal side of life. I am not really sure why that is.

The older I get the more I realize how much you don't get opportunity back. Cliché I know. But true nonetheless. It is one of the most depressing things I find about age. And while most of the time, I take the risk and it pays off, my mind still draws to occasions where I failed to do so. I'd give almost anything to do it over again.

Izzo and his people were right. As the proverbial clock that is life counts down, I think less about my failures and more about the risks that weren't taken - the opportunities missed. I am just hoping this realization at the beginning proves valuable by the end.

Niki (not real name): "I thought you said your cousin is a Christian? He's so fun."

Julia: "Yeah, being a Christian isn't his problem."

Niki: "Well what's his problem?"

Julia: "He blogs."

This was a conversation my cousin had with a friend of her's after I met up with them in East Atlanta after the show on Saturday.

I had no alcohol that night and my sister was still able to get me dancing up on a pool table with everyone else - something most of my friends find astonishing.

The night was a blast, but it was the above conversation that got me the most excited. So even though they make fun of my blogging, I decided to blog about it.

Earlier that week our show was rejected by a potential station in Mississippi because, as they put it, "our show is too risque for their market." Keep in mind, they aren't a Christian station - they are a mainstream, secular station. True, it is Mississippi, but still, a mainstream station rejecting a show about faith because they are too risque. Awe-some!

My response: "Can I quote that when developing our marketing campaigns."

Both of the above statements mean much to me because they reinforce that I am living the vision and purpose I set out to live - both professionally and personally.

As my cousin said later in the above conversation, "Andy is a real Christian - he isn't judgmental."

Now at this point you are thinking, wow this post is incredibly egocentric - which I do not deny.

But I have said over and over on this blog that the judgementalism and lack of grace usually exuded by Christians is a significant problem with their ability to relate to this world.

In our attempt to make the right choice, we end up treating people with disdain with a lack of compassion that is incredibly obvious and unsupportive to loving this world.

So on Saturday night, I didn't get drunk, but refused to judge those who did.

And on Saturday night, I didn't go home with anybody - even though I am pretty sure I could have (shut up Cassie) - but didn't look down on those who did.

I just had a great time with some fun people and I look forward to doing it again.

So while there are many, many ways I fall short of the standard I attempt to live up to (like being egocentric while blogging), I find the two conversations above to be encouraging.

I often feel like the least forgiving place in this world is the place that should be the most. As the saying goes, "the church seems to shoot their wounded."

This saddens me how few people recognize how imperfect we all are, and how all sin is equal in the eyes of God. When will we try to be as forgiving as God.

I know I can't post them all, but if you follow Post Secret, you will be astonished how many of them are about carrying around guilt and shame years - sometimes even decades - after something happened.

...Women who are vegans because egg yolks remind them of their abortions

...Men who feel bad about the way they treated people in high school

...First time sexual experiences that were not what they expected

...Mothers missing their daughters because they don't speak after and event

...Fathers knowing they should never have left their kids

...Business deals that fell through

...Friends mistreating and taking advantage of other friends

Stop carrying the guilt around with you. God forgives - even if we don't.

Be sure to visit Post Secret for more interesting looks into the human condition.

Andy is looking for both of these in his future wife. However, Andy is willing to compromise on #2 if #1 is true.

Also, I have a surprise third post-secret for this post but it is in response to a comment that I feel is looming by Sarah (probably) or Erik (maybe) or Allen (long shot). But don't leave it up to them - as all three might fail. It will only come when expected comment is said.

Be sure to visit Post Secret for more interesting looks into the human condition.

Last weekend I visited my brother in Chicago to watch his play. It was fantastic and my brother was brilliant. But at 36,000 feet on the way home I did something I have never done in all the 202,011 miles I have spent in the sky: I asked the flight attendant out to dinner.

She was beautiful - not slutty beautiful like she was doinking all the pilots on layover - just classically beautiful.

Typically I would talk myself out of asking her to dinner for two reasons: 1.) I assume she probably gets hit on a lot and 2.) I typically fly United or American who don't have any flight crew hubbed in Atlanta. But this was Delta, so there was a good chance she lived in ATL, and about 2/3 the way through the flight I said to hell with the other reason.

So I got out of 10C and walked to the back of the plane and asked if she was based in Atlanta. She said she was for now, but in a couple of weeks was getting moved to the Honolulu-hub. I told her that I thought "that was unfortunate as I think she is a very beautiful woman and I just wanted to see if she wanted to go to dinner sometime." We talked for another 10 minutes, I gave her my card after she told me she was moving back in a year, and that was probably the last I will ever see of Kate.

I told this story to three people upon my return to Atlanta and all three said something along the lines of that was ballsy. But what woman, even if she thinks you are hideous, doesn't want to be told they are beautiful? The worst thing that happens is you feel a bit embarrassed, and she goes home with her day made. What's the loss?

The opening line of the movie Hitch is: "No woman wakes up saying: 'God, I hope I don't get swept off my feet today.'" Now that doesn't mean she wants to get swept up by me or you, but nevertheless she wants to be desired.

And men are really no different.

I know absolutely no one who doesn't want to find love. Don't read that so fast.
I know absolutely NO-ONE who doesn't want to find love.

Think about that. We all differ on religion, politics, financial desires, sexual orientation, how many kids to have, and what movies we watch. We all differ on everything from the trivial to the profound. The one thing we all share is that we all want to love and be loved. I think that is beyond profound.

In a somewhat ironic twist, I came home later that night after the show and saw Taylor's Swift's new music video Love Story for the first time. In a risk of embarrassing myself like I always do, I love Taylor Swift's music. And at the risk of sounding gay, Love Story is both incredibly well-written, and a phenomenal video. It captures the Shakespearean desire every single one of us share even in the trivialist of all moments like walking from class or riding on a plane 7 miles above the earth.

This flight didn't end in a Love Story for me or Kate - but I saw a beautiful woman and took a risk and tomorrow hopefully I'll get the chance to do it again.

Last week I asked someone on a date. She said no.

The night before, my friends and I were talking at a local bar about what I was thinking of doing. To which they were making fun of said plans.

So to defend my berating I responded: "I have had more relationships¹ than both of you combined²."

To which Henry replied: "yeah, but I have had a longer relationship than all of your relationships combined."³

To which I replied: "I am not arguing with that. I don't have a problem entering relationships, I have a problem staying in relationships."

To which our (hot) waitress jumped in and said: "ahh, now that is the real problem."

But this draws me back to a conversation I had with another friend about 10 months earlier. Jenny is a successful, attractive, fun girl who takes her faith seriously but also has a bit of a wild streak to her. Needless to say, someone I think should be a catch. But she was lamenting in one of our annual coffee meetings about how she - nor her friends - get asked out very much. To which I responded, "that is because most Christian boys don't have any balls."

Which brings me back to the evening of asking her on the date. As I walked downstairs, I told Matt she said no. Matt looked at me and said, "you just flat out asked her out." I said sure. He said, "that takes balls man."

Now I know LC is out there somewhere rolling his eyes and wondering why I am blogging about this, but I am going on.

I have never let the fear of rejection stop me. It isn't to say that I like it. And it isn't to say that I don't get nervous asking people out. I don't know too many guys who actually like the nerves it takes to put yourself out there. But the nerves shouldn't disable somebody from going for it.

Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. But at least there is no wondering. At least there is no beating around the bush.

But to wrap up. I would say three quarters of my relationships - and probably another half-dozen dates that didn't develop into a relationship - started by asking out of the blue and putting myself out there. And a little rejection won't change that.

(To end with a little humor: Once again, I know how JD feels - although my pitch wasn't nearly as pathetic as his, but at the same time it also wasn't as funny)