Andy Borgmann's Blog

I can't stand Nancy Grace. I am sure she is a fine person in real life, but there are at least 4 things that bother me:

1. Her allegations of prosecutorial misconduct
2. Her knack for berating guests to the point they kill themselves
3. Her disregard for innocence until proven guilty.
4. And if I hear her talk about Natalie Holloway one more time¹...God help us all.

The interesting part about all this: Allen has been good friend's with Nancy Grace's husband for over 20 years. Which is ok. I am sure Allen can't stand some of my friends.² But it leads to some hilarious conversations between the two of us...

Here's the background. Nancy is having a party, so Allen got an evite from her. And by her, I mean Nancy's assistant. But the funny thing about the evite is that she spelled "Grace" - "Gace." I saw this and was found it slightly humorous.

Now please remember that Allen makes fun of me for not being a good speller, and, lets be honest, if Allen ever needed an evite sent out, I would be the one to do it.

And here is our e-mail back-and-forth....

What can I say. Allen's a good friend and defends her well. And I freaking love my job!

I should have known it was going to be like this. Friday, May 9: CJ and Andrea were scheduled to fly into Atlanta. The past week I had worked 67 hours to make sure everything was ready. Then on Friday, in the classic state of a "modern man," I cleaned the house, baked a cake, worked 8 hours, marinated chicken, paid bills, went grocery shopping, did laundry, and constructed a table. Why a table you asked? Because as I was moping my kitchen floor, I leaned on my old table and it split in half. So a run to Ikea and back at rush hour, and 30 minutes of drilling, bam a new table. That day was crazy. But little did I know it was just the beginning.

Here are some stats from the past 3 weeks:

• Miles Driven: 1,743
• Miles Flown: 1,543
• Money Spent Since May 9th: $1,954.64
• Money Spent Since May 16th (Asher's Arrival): $1,471.16
• Total Number of Different Beds Slept In: 7
• Total Number of Hospitals Visited: 3
• Total Time Spent in Hopsitals: 37 Hours

So what did I learn from all of this? Three things.

1.) Police in Charleston don't monitor parking meters, but they do make up stop signs for you to run through
It is true. I stopped paying the parking meters in Charleston, but this was only after I noticed that nobody else did either. Ironically, I was pulled over on by a bicycle cop (that's a first) for running a stop sign that wasn't there.

2.) Hospitals are disappointingly not like Scrubs
We all know I am a huge Scrubs fan. The whole time I was looking for a Crazy Janitor, or a Dr. Cox, or the Chief of Medicine. But nothing! There wasn't even a hot Dr. Reid anywhere. Although there were some hot nurses. This brings me to lesson #3.

3.) Married people are the absolute worst wingmen
Ok, so there was this hot girl who worked at the Ronald McDonald House where CJ and Andrea stayed. And so sure enough, Andrea goes to check out, and the girl asks about me. So she proceeds to tell her that I am a radio producer (good), my job is really flexible (good), and I am staying at the Motel 6. What the heck Andrea? Seriously!

No, he's such a good guy he rearranged his schedule to be here for three weeks. No, he's so great with our daughter Jadyn if he were just married we would consider making him the God-parent. No, he dropped $1,400 with out blinking an eye just to help us. No, he's travelled the world and been to tons of exotic locations. No, None of that? Just, he's staying at the Motel 6?

Heck, I would have even taken the Motel 6 reference if you would have prefaced it with 1.) he's slept on so many floors in third world countries doing humanitarian and missionary work, the Motel 6 is like the Ritz or 2.) he stays at the Motel 6 now because he is good with money and he doesn't care and it means his wife and children won't have to stay at the Motel 6 when they travel, or 3.) all the hotels were full and/or ridiculously expensive due to the Memorial Day weekend festivities.

Married people everywhere, take a lesson from this Scrubs clip.

Ok, maybe not the drunken weekend part, but you get the idea. That is what we call a good Wingman.

But all and all, it was a great extended trip. We had a great time and was worth every second and penny. Here's a look back, through pictures.

About three months ago, Sister Hazel magically re-appeared as a dominant force on my music playlist. It's good to have them back. What I have always loved about Sister Hazel is what I typically hate about most bands: they sing about the same thing in all their songs. It seem that, with Sister Hazel, either someone in the band has gone through an incredibly hard break-up in life, which they have never recovered from, or their song writer has. I own 16 songs of theirs; out of the 16 at least 7 of them I interpret to be about this break up (in case you are wondering they are Best I’ll Ever Be, Champaign High, Life Got in the Way, Your Mistake, Killing Me Too, Your Winter, and Hopeless.)

Oddly enough, an 8th song of theirs I own is called Thank You, and it appears to be about a break-up, but the guy is actually glad the relationship has ended. Maybe this is a different girl. However, my theory is that this song was written in the all too common anger stage of the break-up where instead of admitting you want someone back, you get nasty mean. Anyways, I digress.

In college, my roommate had a name for this particular ex-girlfriend in my life. He called her “The One Who Got Away,” and I think the name is accurate. I find this is a common story amongst those who are single and in their 20s. I imagine it gets all the more common in our 30s. This is not to say that we sit around, longing for the day that person will return (although we may not mind that if it works out). No, it has a profoundly different stigma in our life. One I think Sister Hazel and Chuck Klosterman can relate to.

In his book “Killing Yourself to Live” Chuck writes:

“The first girl I loved was someone I knew in sixth grade. Her name was Missy; we talked about horses. The last girl I love will be someone I haven’t even met yet, probably. They all count. But there are certain people you love who do something else; they define how you classify what love is suppose to feel like. These are the most important people in your life, and you’ll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years. But there’s still one more tier to all this; there is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it always happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people… But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else.”
-Killing Yourself to Live (Page 232)

I love how Chuck says this “usually happens retrospectively.” I find this ironic in my own life. As the one girl in life that I have told that I loved, I certainly did not love. Since then, I haven’t told anyone I loved them, including the one girl I most certainly did.

But as Sister’s Hazel says, life gets in the way. We can’t control that. We move along with our lives. Pursue different things. Live in different areas. And ultimately, that template of love is all we have left. But it is still worth it. Every second of the relationship was worth it, and every second with out the relationship has since been worth it. We all need that template. Because when life gets in the way, we at least know what we are longing for and the way life should be. And that gives me hope that one day I will find this love again, and this time, she won’t get away.

For more posts referencing the brilliance that is Chuck Klosterman, click here

In 2004, Angelina Jolie was named the sexiest woman alive by Esquire magazine. At the time, I thought, “that's an odd pick.” Don't get me wrong. Angelina is attractive and hot and all, but honestly, the sexiest. I can think of others who in my opinion are sexier. However, I have to say, after watching her interview on Anderson Cooper 360° last night, the picture to the left has to be the sexiest picture of her I have ever seen, and quite possibly the sexiest picture of anyone I have ever seen.

Now I should state that I am a sucker for simplicity. Take college for example. The sexiest part of college, in my mind, were all the girls roaming around in their pajamas. This is not to say that I don't appreciate well dressed occasions, however, I usually find "cute" sexier than "hot" and "simplicity" sexier than "done-up." So this statement about Angelina isn’t just a “noble” relation of good works equaling sexiness (I am not that good of a Christian). I actually do find this picture above to be sexy. But I digress.

To see someone so attractive and wealthy, with literally endless possibilities in ways to spend that money and fame, choose to make poverty an issues closest to her heart is inspiring. When all of her other celebrity cohorts are spending their money on Botox and plastic surgery so they can be the scoop of Esquire's pointless designations or E!'s countless "sexiest people countdowns," Angelina has taken her sexiness and turned it into one of the most noble works on the planet: taking care of the poor, especially children.

I have to say the coolest thing about Angelina is that she both talks the talk and walks the walk - which is rare in Hollywood (and the world). She is as loud as anyone out there about poverty. But she also gives up 1/3 of her income, adopted two children, and travels to countless countries all in the name of poverty. Having both of those elements makes me respect Angelina more than just about any celebrity or well-known political figure in the entire world.

So Esquire, you got it wrong this year by naming Jessica Biel the new sexiest woman alive. That title still goes to Angelina, and this picture is the proof.

I have come to realize something over the past year. Most of my work is spent producing a faith-based, talk radio show. And it is this production that I have come to realize that secular music is more Godly than Christian music.

Before I begin, I should apologize to the great Bryan Taylor as I have to admit, 4 years later, that you my friend, are right. Bryan and I had a discussion at the start of my sophomore year about this, to which I vehemently defended Christian music as the only God-honoring music around. To that, I say I am wrong and I am sorry. But I digress.

Here's what I have come to realize. God is a God of real life. Pick any passage you want out of the Bible (not Psalms) and you will see that God is a God that reveals his glory through real life human situations. Sometimes these stories are triumphant (i.e. Joseph). Sometimes they are tragic (i.e. the Rape of Tamar). But they are always real.

Now you are saying to yourself what does this have to do with music. And here’s my point: Christian music doesn’t sing about anything real. Have you heard a song out of the Christian music industry about divorce? How about true pain? How about romance? Or intimacy? Now their are exceptions of course. Jeremy Camp, Casting Crowns, and Justin McRoberts are phenomenal at writing music that is about the struggle we call life. However, they are the exception in that industry, not the rule.

On our radio show, we talk about a lot about God. But it doesn't sound like everything else you hear out their from Dobson or Robertson or Buchanan because what we talk about is where real life and faith come together. When I go to produce music for the rejoins, I am disappointed to find that 90% of the time I turn to secular music, as it is a better fit for real life. And since God is a God of real life, than I have to say His music should reflect that.

This past week I worked a 79.5-hour week. And instead of being wiped out like a normal person, I found myself so rejuvenated that I laid awake at 2:30 in the morning on Saturday night (Sunday morning?). So what did I do? What else but turned on my TV and watched VH1’s Behind the Music: The Nick Lachey Story. It is at precisely 2:37 am that I am writing this, and it is at this moment I have decided that fame sucks!

I should add this disclaimer that I want to be famous. I don’t just want to be pop star famous, because that is too fleeting. I want to be president of the United States famous. And not just any POTUS, but like George Washington POTUS so that my legacy will last beyond my death (I know. I am self-centered. Although I sincerely want to be famous so that I can influence the masses for the kingdom of God, you know, like C.S. Lewis But I digress).

As I watched the Nick Lachey story, and watched the footage from their wedding, I felt overwhelmed by the fact that he truly loved Jessica. Seeing him practically heave to death at the first sight of her as she walked down the aisle almost made me cry. Seeing the amount of love he had for her, was inspiring in a land filled the ridiculous standard of love being set by the Cruise/Holmes relationship. I don’t think it was faked. I don’t feel like it was a show.

But life happens – even more so when you are famous. I don’t know if he cheated. I don’t know if she cheated. I am not excusing any personal decisions made in private. But I do feel that they were in love in the beginning and it was torn apart simply by the pressures of fame.

Now I am not pulling the whole “poor” celebrities thing here. In more ways than not, they are blessed beyond belief, especially in light of billions of people starving in this world. But if love truly is the greatest blessing in life, and the ultimate ascension of humanity. It seems that love is the only thing fame can’t buy, and maybe not even possible to sustain. And if that is the cost of fame, fame sucks!

I went and saw The DaVinci Code this weekend. And before I get into my point of the post, I should say, I loved the book. It was maybe the greatest piece of fiction I have read in a long time. Although from a "historical perspective," the book it quiet laughable. Most of what was inaccurate dealt with Constantine. I found it odd that Dan Brown himself said that Constantine converted to Christianity on his death bed, yet somehow organized the Council of Nicea after becoming a Christian to pick which books were to be in the Bible.

Also, and I am not going to get into detail here, but the Bible was ultimately chosen by the end of the 2nd century, not the middle of the 4th. Sure there were some debates going on, but most of the 66 books we have in our current Bible were decided long before Constantine. One more point on this and I'll get to the real point. In the book/movie, characters are often quoting the Gospel of Phillip and the Gospel of Mary - which are both heretical, Gnostic gospels. But of course, he found passages that support his argument. However, he conveniently left out the other Gnostic gospels, like Gospel of Thomas that has this fanciful quote. "'Let Mary leave us, for females are not worthy of live.' Jesus said, 'Behold, I shall guide her to make her male, so that she too may become a living spirit resembling you males. For every female who makes herself male will enter the kingdom of heaven.'" Not to "keen" on the female goddess ehh? There were other historical inaccuracies as well, but I digress.

Here's my real point about this movie. Once again, Hollywood has turned Christians into the greatest publicists on the planet. Chuck Klosterman in one of the greatest books ever written, Sex, Drugs & Cocoa Puffs makes this comment about the Left Behind movie produced in the 90s.

"However, I can't ignore my sinking suspicion that the makers of this movie merely assumed their best hope for commercial success was to manipulate the very people who never needed a movie or a book to learn how to love Jesus. They took people who wanted to rescue my soul and turned them into publicists. Which makes me think the people at Cloud 10 are probably a few tiers below Stalin, too."
-Sex, Drugs & Cocoa Puffs

During college, I got the benefit to work along side a producer of The Passion of the Christ for an event held at Azusa Pacific University with Mel Gibson and Lee Strobel that was broadcasted over CCN and also was covered by ABC. And I have to say, after working that event and seeing the events that surrounded The Passion of the Christ (both the controversy and success), I have come to agree with Chuck, Hollywood is great at turning well-meaning Christians into publicists.

And they have done it again with The DaVinci Code. They might come out and say they dislike Christians making a big deal out of nothing, but in actuality, they love it. Controversy is what drives people to read books and see movies. And there is no better group than Christians to spark controversy with. So if you want to make billions of dollars, I suggest you figure out a way to rope Christians into the publicity game, like Chuck said, they seem to be great at it.

This week has been quite a week for the Dixie Chicks. Their new album is at the top of the charts, and two nights ago they were on Larry King Live talking about the past three years. I have to admit, I am one of the Americans (although we seem to be fleeting) that will probably never buy another Dixie Chicks song. This isn't because I hate them vehemently. They are probably great people and they sure as heck produce great music. But just like Barry Bonds for baseball, the Dixie Chicks will always have a sour taste in my mouth.

If you've read this blog before you know that I am pro-Iraq because ultimately I think life will be better for Iraqis once a stable government takes over. I have been to the Middle East, I have seen first hand the amount of oppression over there, and anything that removes oppressive regimes in my book is a noble feat. (This is not to say that I think this is why Bush went over there, nor do I feel we have been dealt with honestly, but that's another topic).

I also should state here that their is a part of me that truly respects the Dixie Chicks. I admire anyone who stands so strongly to their belief, especially when their careers are on the line. Principle is something America seems to have forgotten. I also respect the Dixie Chicks stance on the war, even if I do not agree with it. I have many friends that are against the war in Iraq, and for good reason. Anyone who can come to an educated, reasonable decision about their opinion of the war is respectable, and the Dixie Chicks appear to have that.

So Andy, gosh, what's the big deal. Why the sour taste. Here's why. I think the Dixie Chicks as their name alludes to are Chickens. The biggest problem I had with their sentiments back in 2003 was not what they said, not how they said it, but where they said it. London!

Now many have made the point that they weren't willing to say this in Dallas or Nashville or even New York, and I disagree with them. I think that they were willing to say it anywhere. However, where they chose to say it for the first time is of great importance. And the point is Dixie Chicks, you might be willing to say it anywhere, but the truth of the matter is you didn't.

I would have had no problem if they said what they said in New York (which would still probably agree with them) and then travel to London and say the same thing. But you don't backhand your country, even if you disagree with it, and even if a lot of people in your country would agree with you, on foreign soil for the first time. It is like a husband who tells all his buddies what he hates about his wife in hopes that somehow it will get back to his wife and his wife will change his ways. You just don't do that. Have the balls to look America in the eye, on American soil, and say, "America we are not right in our stance on the war, and I for one am ashamed that W. comes from Texas." That is a statement and a context that I would respect.

Since the statement made from London, they have apologized for how they said it, but to my recollection, not where they said it. So I hope 500,000 of you enjoy your Dixie Chickens CD, I for one, will not be buying it.

As I sit on my computer right now, I am staring at my AOL Buddy List and an ad for ONE.ORG begins to play. Basically what we have here is a bunch of celebrities snapping their fingers in order to show us how simple it can be to end poverty if we all just speak up!

Now this brings me back to the glorious summer of '05 and the Live 8 concert. Do you remember? For a week it seemed like we had every celebrity in the world, telling the 8 leaders from the 8 "great countries" that the world wants them to end poverty.

Before I get into what I feel about this, I should add the disclaimer that I am sure there are some truly amazing celebrities deeply concerned with the poverty issue. One case in point is Angelina Jolie. She has moved her family. Adopted her kids. And given tons of money and time in order to fight poverty all around the world, and for that I congratulate her. There are probably others (Bono, George Clooney maybe?).

However, here's my problem with this. If anybody in this world has the ability to do something about poverty it is celebrities. They have the money, and more importantly, the time to really do something about this issue if they wanted to. But instead, they settle for a concert once every 20 years (Live Aid = 1985, Live 8 = 2005), and very little in their own life changes. They are still pulling in millions of dollars and wasting it on their own greed and selfishness. Then they have the audacity to produce commercial telling us not even to help ourselves, but rather, just sign a petition so that others (i.e. governments) will step it up and help the situations in Africa. This is ridiculous.

I have spent my life trying to make the lives of others better. There are families in Mexico that have houses in part due to my effort. There is an orphanage in Honduras that has a gym do to work I have done. There are gardens in South Africa I have helped get started. Now I am not saying all this because I am prideful and want the glory. Far from it. What I want is for America and Celebrities in particular to recognize that poverty is not going to end just by snapping our fingers and signing a petition. Nor will it even end by wealthy countries canceling the debt of poorer countries (does that work on a personal level - does a poor person become rich because a bank cancel their mortgage?) Poverty will end when rich countries' citizens make sacrifices to share the wealth, and aid in the empowering of poor countries' citizens to empower themselves. Until we as a culture put away the idea that Hollywood sells us everyday that materialism brings us happiness, we will never make any grounds in helping impoverished countries. So celebrities out there, I will see you in about 20 years when you decide to throw another concert telling the world that you care, yet ignoring the fact that for the past 20 years you & poverty are at polar extremes of each other.

All right, I will let you take a second to swallow that. I know it might seem hard, but give me the benefit of the doubt for a second.

I just spent a week with the beautiful Jadyn Elise Mills. Ohh what fun we had! Playing on the beach and eating sand. Being dunked underwater in the pool. Waking up at 6 am, only because she wanted some attention, and after she was pulled into bed with me would just fall back asleep on my chest. This week of pseudo-parenting was, believe it or not, a nice break from my single 20s that have a tendency to be very self-centered and all about "my schedule."

But all this parenting has got me thinking, I don't think Britney is that bad of a mom. (Disclaimer: I am not the typical 20-year old male that before Britney had a child thought she was somewhat of a modern day goddess. For the most part, I don't like her music. I don't like her "image." And while I will admit she is very attractive, I don't think the way she flaunted that, especially for young girls, is very good for society. But I digress.) Now, of course, Britney doesn't hold a candle to the amazing mother Andrea is! But then again, who could? Some moms are coming to her defense and saying, sure she's not perfect, but cut her some slack. They all say, just as I learned this week, the mistakes we all make in parenting aren't getting critiqued everywhere we go. No press this week covered as a momentary lapse in my concentration allowed Jadyn to slam her face into the coffee table. Sure, I am not encouraging it, but she's a baby, things like that happen. If we all had the press in our face, CPS would be after all of us.

But I want to go a step further and applaud her. And this is where I know you are going to think I am crazy. Britney has not out-sourced parenting (at least not yet). I have never seen a celebrity mother photographed with her baby as much, and in the "mundane settings of life" (i.e. the grocery store) like Britney has been. And for that I congratulate her. She certainly has the money. She certainly has the "things to do" besides raising a child. Yet for the time being, she has turned from the temptation so many of her Hollywood cohorts, and a lot of American moms, have succumb to - which is ignoring their child and letting someone else raise them. For that, Britney, I say, thank you for setting a good example (maybe the first time) for parents everywhere. Despite your inequities, you have proven to be a good mom!