Andy's Blog
I am starting a new blog mini-series called: lessons in thinking outside the box. It will not be one after the other like other mini-series. But it will pop up from time to time.In Andy's official point scoring scheme for thoughts, you get most points (say: up to 976) for being logical, and then second most points (say: up to 763) for thinking outside of the box (read: controversial).
So what better way to kick off this new mini series with something that will most likely cause all of you to be grossed out because of an inability to process logic?
I am going to confess something to you that most of my friends already know: I rarely wash my hands after taking a pee. The logic usually goes like this:
- I don't pee on my hands
- My penis is the cleanest part of my body
- Subpoint #1: It has twice the clothing coverage of any other part of my body
- Subpoint #2: I don't feel obligated to wash my hands after holding my arm or any other body part
- If anything my hands are dirtier than my penis, thus I should probably wash my hands before going to the bathroom.
- Especially in public bathrooms, I am pretty sure the faucet, etc... are dirtier than my penis so washing my hands defeats the purpose as well
The irony in all of this is that I am a super clean guy. Also, I randomly wash my hands all the time through out the day (especially after typing a lot). I just don't feel obliged to after going to the bathroom. So...who wants to dispute this thinking and/or let me hold their baby :)
(Hope you enjoyed the holiday levity, I'll be back to writing about things that matter later in the week).
You wash your hands in public restrooms because everything you touch has germs on it, and if you get those germs on your hands and then touch your face later, you can get those germs on your face. Right now, I'm pretty sure everything that I just said = swine flu.
And obviously, in a public restroom, you touch the faucet, then wash your hands, leave the water running, and get a paper towel to touch the faucet again to turn it off. You also use said paper towel to open the door to the restroom. THEN, you do the perfect three-point-shot into the restroom trash can.
I cannot believe I had to explain that all to you. Geez.
Controversy averted. I award myself 1000 out of a possible 763 and 976.
First off- I typically do wash my hands before I pee.
Second - I typically do wash my hands after I pee especially in a public restroom - The reason- Splash back - Unless you use a john and not the urinal, they have yet to design a urinal that does not have some form of splash back - its just the physics of inelastic collisions.
But on the whole, urine doesn't contain any thing too bad in it. A little acid, some waste minerals, some white blood cells. It probably wouldn't get you sick, and you could drink it once with out much ill effect. So really the contamination in a bathroom comes from grabbing the flusher handle and touching the door. (Because feces particles can be found up to 6-8 ft away from a toilet in most restrooms)
To me, its about personal discipline, training, and expierence. Isn't it amazing how many people don't even have the personal respect or discipline to wash themselves?
Here's something interesting to read, US Army Survival Manual thats posted online at a college. ~ I'm posting this in an attempt to help those who don't have the capacity to wash themselves. If anything, it's a GREAT read.
United States Army FM (Field Manual) 21-76 ~ US ARMY SURVIVAL MANUAL
http://www.humboldt.edu/~hsusnc/FM%2021-76%20US%20ARMY%20SURVIVAL%20MANUAL.pdf
you don't, right?
I don't get sick. So I am not worried.
Fourth of all, you have to wash your hands because you were just with the flying dutchman too.
I don't have a splash back problem usually. Not sure what veracity or angle you are peeing at.
I don't grab the flusher on the urinal, and on the john I just use my foot.
I ain't talkin' about no girls here! Just another reason why guys have it easier than girls :)
Ohh I wash myself. Sometimes I take 2 showers a day. Like I said, I am clean dude. I just don't wash my hands after I pee.
Uhhh...why do you think it was so akward that time at BP when that dude walked in on me going to the bathroom? I like to keep a clean shop :) (extra bonus points if you can tell me who else has said, "I like to keep a clean shop" in reference to their private parts).
I know. Isn't it a sad testament about our times?
But if it's any consolation, the blog about that fake boob Carrie Prejean and her sex tape is still ahead with 15. That one had at least a little bit of political content.
In trying to decypher that code, the best I could come up with is that Cecily is dating a KLM pilot. How far off am I?
2 showers a day is nothing out of the ordinary during the summer in a city like Atlanta (and "summer" can stretch for 6-7 months here!) and even other seasons depending on what I do during that particular day (like sports or sweaty/dirty work).
Way too much visual! Funny though, once you block out the visual.
Mhmm, I'd hazard the guess that it was one of the girls from Scrubs trying to impress that gynecologists they all had hots for. Maybe Elliott employing all her self-control skills not to use the word "bajingo" during the exam ...
Ummm...sort of. I wouldn't really call it dating. And he isn't a pilot. But you are close.
Just for the record, that isn't what happened in the BP bathroom.
As always LC, you're a genius. That is exactly who said that.
I don't either and I agree with you that it isn't necessary (even though my junk has been in some pretty filthy places).
There really is no reason to wash after taking a pee. You could even wash your hands with urine (which is essentially sterile water) and not be at risk for spreading or contracting disease. Feces likewise, despite their "yuck' factor are not inherently pathogenic (cf. "Two girls and 1 cup"), but they do have SOME likelihood of harboring dangerous bacteria, parasites, and the occasional virus (Hepatitis A, which is spread fecal-oral, is endemic in some parts of the ATL). But honestly, the risk of catching or spreading ANYTHING is so low that it is almost negligible.
If a person was really concerned about coming into contact with creepy crawlies he would wash hands after using an ATM, which is far filthier than anyone's penis, even mine.
FWB.
Wait, you are sort of seeing this dude and don't even know where he's from? If he's indeed Swedish, you may have found just about the last Christian Swede out there. Handle with care, as they are an endangered species. ;)
Please, feces are are like petri dishes for bacteria. For example, E. Coli are called "coli" because they reside inside the colon.
And fecal-oral transfer is exactly why you never go ass to mouth (except that it is sometimes forgivable, in the heat of the moment, to go ass to mouth). Extra points for the referrence.
That was my interpretation of it too ...