Andy's BlogSpeaking of airliners going down, I am boarding a flight today to go to Denver. Spending some time skiing and hanging out with friends and family. Doing what I love, cramming as much stuff in a "(extended)-Weekender" as possible.
- Thursday hang with Heather.
- Friday skiing at Vail with sister, brother and mom
- Friday night meeting up with Molly
- Saturday more skiing at vail with the fam
- Saturday evening hanging with Nicole
- Sunday church with everyone plus Grandma
- Sunday afternoon pick up Asher because Andrea is also in Denver and I figured I'd do my part to actually help a stay-at-home mom who never gets a day off actually have a full day off
- Monday fly home!
Going to be a blast.
But with the fact I am going on a weekender and the fact that I feel like life has been too contentious recently, I decided I am going to blog a light-hearted and hopefully funny post. And since I can't seem to blog about anything - including Bobby Knight - with out my relationship status being brought up, I figured I wouldn't fight it.
My friend Cecily always makes fun of me for giving my business card out to women when I ask them out on dates. She also makes fun of me for things that I do not say when asking girls out, but that she thinks I should because it would be hilarious and conceited and pretentious and hilarious (yeah I said it twice).She tells me I need to add these to the back of the business cards to let all the potential ladies out there know just how awesome I am.
These include:
- Executive Producer of THE (emphasis on the) Allen Hunt Show
- Homeowner
- Humanitarian
- and my personal favorite... "I am a pretty big deal in Charlottesville"
Why Charlottesville you ask? Well because a month ago we added Charlottesville, VA as an affiliate and I told her and Justin that we did. Not really a big deal. We have added about 70 affiliates last year alone.
But for some reason Charlottesville stuck in Cecily's head so she wants me to introduce myself as "Hi I am Andy Borgmann, Executive Producer of THE Allen Hunt Show. Homeowner. Humanitarian. And you may not know this, but I am a pretty big deal in Charlottesville."
But Cecily shouldn't be the only one joining in on this fun. Why don't you.
If you know me, this is a great time to roast me. Have fun.
If you don't know me personally, I want to hear some of the best things you think I could put on the back of a business card that would be hilariously impressive to women.
(P.S. It should be stated for those who take life too seriously and have no sense of humor, I do not actually plan on doing this. You know who you are Matt!)
"Hi I am Andy Borgmann, yes these are my favorite shorts, why yes it is a bathing suit."
"Hi I am Andy Borgmann.... excuse me... I need to throw up in a planter."
TAPE!!!!
That will be a whole lot more impressive when I actually can fly a plane ;)
I have got those shorts with me right now in CO thank you very much!
That story is just hilarious, and we all know the ladies like a sense of humor so I am glad you suggested that one. I'll definitely add that to the list.
I am going to take that and modify it to say, "Yeah, I have worked with Mel Gibson (which for the record Jared Wells was the only one who got to touch his ass), so...like the Charlottesville thing, I am pretty much a big deal ;)
Hope all is still going well in KC. When you coming to Atlanta next?
Hi, I am Andy B. and I won't make sweet love to you woman, until you say "I do"
Would these work?
Only because you were/are my role model.
This would be true.
Well, at least I will try not ;)
These would be true, but they would probably not "work" ;)
That makes no sense and isn't true.
Try not. Do or do not, there is no try.
I seriously do not get this worship of virginity in modern day Christianity. It has taken a form of idolatry in many cases.
Well, the fact that you are able and willing to form and maintain friendships with members of the opposite sex would no doubt be appealing to most women.
As far as premarital celibacy is concerned that would depend on the woman in question, I guess. Although I am sure that even most Christian women, once they have reached their mid-20s have tossed the romanticized notion of premarital virginity overboard.
Now there is a talent that the ladies really can get excited about! If he can lick his own eyebrows, imagine what other places his tongue could reach. :p
I have another one:
I'm Andy B. and I have been to x states and y countries (as of printing of this card).
I personally don't "worship" virginity. I think that's mostly uber conservative Christians that want to "look" good to other Christians. Interestly, the freakiest people I know are Christian virgins.
I kinda agree with that. I think since most people are getting married later in life, they tend not to value virginity as much. Personally, the thought of marrying a guy that's a virigin gives me the creeps.
That's a good one. I'll add that to the list.
What can I say, I aim to please.