The second in the Women We Love - Andy's Trip Edition isn't a woman at all, but a beautiful young girl: Jadyn.

Since Jadyn graced our lives over three years ago she has changed my outlook on life so much - and she isn't even my kid.

For the past 8 days Jadyn has been my alarm clock. And if waking up to a beautiful woman who I get to sleep with is the best way to wake up, waking up with a beautiful young girl saying, "come on Uncle Andy, let's get up and play" has got to be an extremely close second.

The usual morning routine involves playing a quick game of hide and go seek, which transitions into a game of tag, and then ends with some version of dolls in her bright pink room.

The other day after tag, she was getting out her dolls and I decided to try and steal a quick moment to check the iPhone for email - which is usually literally the first thing I do in the morning (before even getting out of bed).

But as she sits down by me with dolls in hand, she looks up and sees me checking the iPhone.

She responds, in the sweetest little girl voice, "Uncle Andy, can you not check your email right now and just watch me play."

I respond, "Of course."

As I sat and watched her play, I thought to myself how important - regardless of age - it is to have people who are there just to watch us play. And sure, as we get older, "play" becomes a bit different. Play becomes work. Play becomes being a husband or wife. Play becomes raising a family. Play becomes serving our community. Play becomes a whole slue of things.

But we all need support in the things we do. We need people in our lives that essentially "watch" what we do and give us the encouragement and support that we are valuable and what we are doing is valuable.

Jadyn will grow from a young girl I love, to a young woman I love, and finally to a woman I love. And I will always be there to watch her play - no matter what that play entails. And I am grateful for those who have and continue to watch me.

Now back to playing dolls...

I love coming home to Indiana for vacation. I have great friends in CJ & Andrea that feel like family (more on that later this week). I get along better with my real family now more than I ever have, and I truly enjoy spending time with them.

But one thing I have really grown to love is the "once-a-year" meals I share with people I don't get to see very often. The conversation is always intriguing; hearing all about what has happened in the time apart. Seeing how we have grown to who we are today, compared to where we were the last time we talked.

And, since by some natural law of the universe that states I am only allowed to have one guy friend in any given region, these conversations are usually with women (hence the mini-blog series). This Christmas I met up with a long-time-ago exgirlfriend named Ashley.

I hadn't talked to Ashley in over 8 years. The last time I saw her was at least senior year of high school. She was a cheerleader in high school, but incredibly intelligent. She went on to Purdue and eventually took a job in engineering.

We had "talked" a few times on Facebook this year about various things, and so decided to get together for lunch over Christmas.

Ashley has grown into an incredibly beautiful, successful, and talented engineer at a large cooperation in Kentucky. And our conversation seemed to end too quickly.

But you want to know what I loved most about our lunch at Yen Ching? Well...I can't tell you.

Now I know Erik is probably thinking up some salacious reason as to why I can't tell you, but that isn't it. Really, I can't tell you because most wouldn't understand. I would come off even more conceited than I actually am.

So if I can't really tell you, why blog about it? Because we all need people in our lives that "get" where we are at. We need people - who sometimes may not have been really close friends - but who understand what is great about our current place in life, while at the same time understand the struggles and insecurities that come with it.

Ashley gets what it is like to be the youngest person by 20 years in meetings. She gets what it is like moving away to a town where you know no one in pursuit of career aspirations. She gets what it is like owning a home in the burbs while the rest of the 20-somethings live in the city.

It is a similar reason as to why I love CJ as much as I do. We get each other.

In January I mentioned the Duke University study that states Americans have fewer friends and confidants than they did 30 years ago. I have been blessed to have some amazing friendships. And the lunches like the one I shared with Ashley are what keep me from going nuts.

I know I have been awful at blogging recently, but I took a break. I have had a wonderful time up in Indiana and still have another 5 days or so.

Hanging out with CJ & Andrea is always a blast. I am the only person I know who wakes up at 11 am for work most days, but on vacation gets up at 9 and is generally exhausted all day. But I love it. Nothing like being woken up by a beautiful girl, even if she is only three.

Some of the cutest things Jadyn has said this trip:

• Uncle Andy, can you wear your hat? You look cool.
• Can we play hide and go seek? ... (1 minute later before she counts to 10) ... ok you go hide in the closet ... (don't think she quite gets the concept of hide and go seek)
• Can you not check your email and just watch me play?

And not to leave the Ash-man out of things. I figured I'd post of video of Asher and I. He can't rollover yet, but I swear I am going to see him walking before I leave on Saturday. His legs are crazy strong - as you can tell by the video. Be sure to wait for the end.


Between being spit up on all week and the fumes from the midget racing inside the Memorial Coliseum, I pretty much have smelled this entire week.

Well that's some fun stuff for now. I am going to blog later on this week about four of my favorite women of the trip - which include one of the Stolen girls, an exgirlfriend I haven't talked to since senior year of high school, and of course, Andrea and Jadyn. Think of it my own version of Esquire's "Women We Love."

I was the Editor-in-Chief of my high school yearbook. I know, über-nerdy right? I wasn't very good at it to be honest. The yearbook was a finalist for a prestigous national award, so it was designed well and the final product was nice (and late), but my overall ability to lead the staff was an utter failure. I made many, many mistakes.

But one thing we were good at: debating. Didn't matter the topic. I had a staff full of women - including one exgirlfriend and a few other very close friends of another exgirlfriend - and one very quiet man. Needless to say, many times it was me versus them all (with the man abstaining).

As Christmas approached, one day the topic of Santa Claus came up. I made the statement that I was not going to tell my kids there was a Santa Claus.

Ohhh....my....gosh! You would have thought I said I will let my kids spend the night with Michael Jackson and Christopher Walken.

I got accused of not fostering a creative environment for my kids.

I got accused of ruining Christmas for all my friends kids.

I got accused of not letting my kids enjoy being kids.

I know how the pictured Santa felt a bit.

But no, just a simple desire not to ever set a precedent of lying to my kids was my motive.

Now I will freely admit that this was right at the height of my extreme "conservative" stage - one many of my current friends won't believe I ever went through. But even with the loosening of my perspective on many things, I still feel I won't tell them there is a Santa.

I think there is already so much pressure from culture to redefine what Christmas is all about. It becomes about the presents, or about family, or about giving, or about joyfulness. And while none of those are per se bad, it isn't really what the season is about at its core.

But it goes beyond this. I know one of my greatest strengths, but also greatest weakness, is that I try to live be a mantra of honesty above all. And while that sometimes means I am not as compassionate and caring as I should be, I do believe that you can rarely go wrong with telling the truth.

I think this becomes all the more important with children. There is already such an innate skepticism with kids as they grow up towards their parents. Why feed into that? Not just with Santa, but in all areas of life.

Apparently I am not the only one. Carl Honoré wrote an article titled "Well, Virginia, It's a Longer Story..." about the "Great-Santa Debate" in a recent article in the Washington Post. But then of course, you have all those wonderful Macy's commercials with the comforting confirmation of Santa's existence from the likes of Martha Stewart and Donald Trump.

So what do you think? How were you raised? How are you raising (or planning on raising) your kids?

We've had some pretty heavy posts so I am going to lighten it up.

One thing that annoys the crap out of me when pulling clips from Comedy Central for the show is the they play an ad spot before every single video.

The most annoying? Blackberry. We ge-e-e-et it. You have a phone that is almost as cool as an iPhone. They currently have three different versions that rotate in the cue.

But one of them I think has my identical voice twin - you know like in the Friends episode where Joey finds his identical hand twin. You've probably seen it on TV a half a billion times but go ahead and take another watch:



Now listen to a version I recorded of myself (with no alterations):





See. Ok, so I know I don't hit "Life" quite right - but I think that has more to do with my poor VO ability than the voice itself.

Somewhere out there (probably New York or LA) there is a guy out there with my identical voice. Ohh how I hope one day we can meet and have conversation where we aren't really sure which one is talking.

I recently had AT&T U-verse installed at the home. Thus far, way better than Comcast. But last Friday after it was installed, I was checking out the new features and was flipping through the channels when Julia Stiles graced my screen.

I love Julia Stiles. Now I'll be the first to admit many think she isn't that great of an actress. I'll also acknowledge that some do not find her all that attractive. But I don't care. I am not sure what it is about her, maybe her Scandinavian-vibe (even though she isn't), but I'll watch just about anything she is in.

• 10 Things I Hate About You
• Save the Last Dance
• The Omen
• All the Bourne movies

You are probably now questioning my sexuality (which would not be valid) - as well as questioning my taste in movies (which would probably be valid).

But I had never seen the movie that was on my TV screen, so I watched it. Later I learned it was called The Prince & Me. A classic, chick-porn story of a college pre-med student who unknowingly falls in love with the Prince of Denmark. Of course. Happens all the time, right?

The movie was alright, but it was this scene that made watching the movie worth it.



What do you know now that you wish you would have known 10 years ago?

We had John Izzo on the show back in June and he talked about his new book The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die.

One thing he said that hit me really hard is that most of the people he interviewed for the book said they wish they had taken more risks in their life. Few regretted risks they took that failed, but many regretted not taking risks at all.

I have thought about this a lot over the past six months.

I usually consider myself a risk taker. I certainly have taken risks professionally. I even took perceived risks in education and travel (i.e. studying abroad in the middle east, flying immediately after 9/11, etc...). Learning to fly is a risk. Many would say my driving style is a risk.

I am less inclined to take risks when it comes to the interpersonal side of life. I am not really sure why that is.

The older I get the more I realize how much you don't get opportunity back. Cliché I know. But true nonetheless. It is one of the most depressing things I find about age. And while most of the time, I take the risk and it pays off, my mind still draws to occasions where I failed to do so. I'd give almost anything to do it over again.

Izzo and his people were right. As the proverbial clock that is life counts down, I think less about my failures and more about the risks that weren't taken - the opportunities missed. I am just hoping this realization at the beginning proves valuable by the end.

The largest hurdle I have in believing that there is a God is the existence of evil. I know this doesn't make me unique, or profound.

I was watching Dirty Sexy Money earlier this week and resonated so strongly with the following clip. Brian is the religious one - but by no means the Saint - in the family. As the show develops, one realizes he really is the metaphorical example of all of us struggling with good and evil.



I love the honesty. The rawness. The emotion. It reminds me of when Jeremiah laments in the Bible by saying, "You deceived me, LORD, and I was deceived. You seized me and prevailed..." As an Old Testament professor once said, deceived is a "soft translation." Deceived, should be raped. But you never hear that story in Sunday school.

I once preached a sermon in Indiana where I read the passage where Jesus said that "his burden is easy and his yoke is light." I followed up by saying, "yeah right!" Had I been bolder I think the better phrase would have been, bullshit.

There is nothing about this world that seams easy - and I say that having lived on both sides of the faith continuum. Why is there so much pain if an Omnibenevolent Being is behind it?

Here's the truth, I don't know.

As much as I love Robert Frost's poem, I think there are really three roads that can be taken in life.

There are those who take the road of naiveté. They say things like, "all works out for the good in the end" or "evil is just a byproduct of a fallen and imperfect world." Meanwhile ignoring the true sense of injustice in the world. Not recognizing that there is legitimate, undeserved suffering in the world.

There still others that say fuck it. They take the road of bitterness. There can't be a God. They don't understand evil, it makes no sense, therefore the only logical conclusion is there is no intelligence or compassion behind this world. Meanwhile ignoring the good that some how comes from nowhere, and the beauty all around us, and all the benevolence that can be generated by them.

And then there is the third road. This road gets traveled the least. It is a road that freely admits they don't have any answers on this one - but wish they did. It is a road that doesn't offer up cheesy clichés in the face of injustice or sorrow, but will cry with you when it happens. It is a road that doesn't become bitter at the evils society face, but recognizes there is work to be done to help overcome them. It is a road that humbles, but also empowers one to do something about it - even if little impact can be made - which is tough to accept.

And while I know the one taken less, I freely admit I do not know which will make all the difference in the end. But I know which one I have chosen.

On Monday my dad was in the paper. On Tuesday, my step-mother - Lisa Blosser - was in the paper with a glowing review of her career as a politician and some conjecture on what she will do next (which I don't even know - so don't ask).

Lisa is a fantastic politician. She streamlined the court system when she was the Clerk - something I witnessed personally. In 2003, she became the auditor and helped Allen county achieve it's first ever AAA-Bond rating. She helped secure a rainy-day fund. She got rebate checks out before Christmas in 2007 - only county in Indiana to do so. And most recently she and her staff saved Allen county taxpayers $6 million dollars by catching a State error.

Needless to say, as stories drop of Illinois Governors taking bribes, and Alaskan Senators taking gifts, and San Diego Congressman committing tax evasion, and Detroit Mayors having sex parties, it is people like my step-mother who give me hope in politics and government. We are very proud of you Lisa.

But because I am self-centered, upon reading the vast openings of political offices in Allen County, my mind drifts to my own political ambitions and wonder if 2010 is when I should start?

I know I would focus my campaign on two things: streamlined efficiency and wise financial policy. It's how I live my life and it is how I would govern.

I'd tell the heart-warming story of how, even at 18, in the summer of 2000, Lisa brought me in to help with tax warrants - something they were swamped with - and how I streamlined the process 4x faster than before.

I'd also share how I have traveled the world - lived in Los Angeles and Jerusalem and Atlanta - and there is still no better place to live and raise a family than Fort Wayne, IN - which I truly believe.

But with all the pros that would probably make me a good politician, here are the cons.

1. I am not a good ass kisser (ask Allen) - thus fundraising would be difficult.
2. I have no tact what-so-ever - and take an opinion on everything - even if it does not pertain to my elected position
3. I live an incredibly open life - which means the media would love me but sooner or later I'd do something the public wouldn't like
4. I'd have no base. I'd piss off Social Liberals because I am pro-life. I'd piss off Social Conservatives because despite being pro-life I support Planned Parenthood and I support gay marriage (Actually I support the government getting the hell out of marriage altogether). I'd piss off Fiscal Conservatives because I support programs for the alleviation of poverty. But I'd piss off Fiscal Liberals because I do think low taxes (and therefore government cuts) are essential. You see - no base!

I'd probably do alright on the local level, but not sure how I would transition that into the State and National level. But then again, one day you might be calling me President Borgmann - and I'll give you a ride on AirForce One.

If you have read this blog for more than 10 minutes you know that I am pretty anal when it comes to my finances. No, that's not strong enough. What is beyond anal? Hmmm....got it. The large intestine. I am entering a new phrase into the English vernacular. I am large intestinal about my finances.

We learned back in March of '07 after the student loans were paid off that 4 years of college cost $148,671.84.

Want to know how much I have spent on fuel since 2001: $9,355.99

Or travel since graduating college (2005): $7,040.60

Or movies in 2007: $266.60

Have I proved that I am large intestinal?

But as precise as I get, I still have those months where I say, "Holy crap I spent too much money. How did this happen?"

Enter November.

I typically spend between $700-$900 a month on non-bill expenditures. This includes going out to eat, travel, fuel, movies, groceries, etc...

Now I knew November was going to be higher than normal because I spent one weekend in Chicago (figured it would push to the $900 range) and then Mom and Cassie came into town (figured it would push to the $1100 range).

Needless to say, after I entered all my receipts and realized I spent $1360.32 - I was a bit surprised.

Now as anal large intestinal about finances as I am, I don't really like budgets. This comes as a shock to most. But I find them too claustrophobic. I'd rather deal with "spendable income per day or month."

Now I do a pretty good job of keeping this in my head and controlling spending. But not in November. So what am I to do to make sure I stay within my present budget range? Duh...what everybody does right, build an iPhone app?

I enter the date my credit card bill recycles (January 3, 2009).

I enter the amount I want budgeted for the month ($700.00).

Then I enter my transactions - and it automatically figures out "where I am" in the month.

And I have it anywhere I take my phone.

So even though it is December - which means Christmas presents (done!) - I can stay on track to not have another November.

But this post isn't about my large intestinal habits that I should probably see a psychiatrist about. Nor is it about my nerdiness. Here's my question to all you 20-somethings (and probably beyond) out there: how do you keep your finances in check? Do you set a budget? Do you keep stuff in Quicken or Mint? Or do you just play it by ear and hope it turns out?

It amazes me how quickly money can go if I am not on top of things. And I am guessing we are all in the same boat on that one. Making sure your finances are in check is one of the best things you can do for yourself, your future, your marriage (or future marriage) and your family (or future family). Get in the habit now of spending and saving correctly - it will pay off in the long run.

I got word this morning that my father - Dan Borgmann of Helmke, Beams, LLC - was named to the 2009 Best Lawyers in America list.

I checked the Best Lawyers in America website but they don't have the 2009 directory up - but this article in the Journal-Gazette confirms it .

My dad isn't really one who likes seeing his name in the paper - something where this apple fell far from the tree - but he should be very proud of this accomplishment.

Dad has always been a great model of what it means to be a hard and honest worker - in a field where honesty is hardly the reputation. We have known he was one of the best attorneys in America for some time, now so does everyone else.

There are events that have happened and decisions made that will never get any publicity but have made me incredibly proud to see how he managed the legacy firm he came to over 20 years ago. And I am sure - due to attorney/client privilege - there are events and actions that I don't even know about that would make me all the more proud.

So congrats Dad. If I were in Indiana right now, I'd take you out for a drink at Columbia Street street to celebrate. You deserve it.


(I was planning on blogging today about something else, but when I heard this - check back tomorrow )