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Andy Borgmann's Blog
Where The Producer Gets the Mic
14 Comments •
20s Sex Marriage Andy's Favorites Relationships Dating
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89 Words
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Wednesday, November 19, 2008
  Andy is looking for both of these in his future wife. However, Andy is willing to compromise on #2 if #1 is true. Also, I have a surprise third post-secret for this post but it is in response to a comment that I feel is looming by Sarah (probably) or Erik (maybe) or Allen (long shot). But don't leave it up to them - as all three might fail. It will only come when expected comment is said. Be sure to visit Post Secret for more interesting looks into the human condition. What's Andy Up To?
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Andy's blog aims to be like a Scrubs episode, mixed with a Chuck Klosterman column, centered around the topic of faith. It is open, honest, raw, and a little embarrassing. It is a place to discuss religion, politics, ministry, pop culture, and well, just life - especially focused on the time of life we call our 20s!
Andy is the Executive Producer of The Allen Hunt Show; a progressive (in the literal sense), talk radio show based in Atlanta, GA aimed at bringing faith back into the public discussion. Andy enjoys travel, aviation, web design, politics, friends, and faith. He holds that the secret to a full life is loving God and loving people - which he fails at constantly. Andy grew up in Fort Wayne, IN. He now lives in Alpharetta, GA. More information about Andy can be found at www.2timothy42.org or Andy's Facebook. P.S. As has been mentioned on air, Andy is horrible at grammar and spelling. Please excuse any mistakes, trust me, he's sorry. Share
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Andy's Blog
Well, my thoughts are - what godly woman with a brain (Which I am praying for you to find) would be reading Cosmo?! That magazine is pure trash! And if the poor girl feels so much pressure to "Wow" then... well, I'm just saying, the "wow" will be there no mater if you've read about it or not. So, I would hope you wouldn't be contributing to your future brides thoughts about needing to "wow" you - she'll have enough on her mind, you don't need to drop "performance anxiety" on her too!
As to the second one, I have heard this over and over and it's different for every person! Adam knows this is the farthest thing from the truth for me but for many woman they would say, I don't ever want flowers they are a waste and they die but I just wish my husband would help with the dishes! So, if you are looking for someone who doesn't want flowers, watch out, they might want you to fold your own laundry or clean the bathroom instead! Marriage is a relationship and if you don't have to give in one area, it's not that you get out of the giving, you just have to transfer it to another area.
All that to say - what makes you so sure you are actually getting married? (again, I do actually pray you will find the right one, but still...)
Spoken like a true arrogant theology major ;)
Flowers or not I actually plan on doing that. I don't have a problem with laundry nor dishes. I have done my own laundry since I was 12 years old.
It probably would be good if she knew how (and liked?) to cook. Not so much for me, probably more for her (you know I would eat the same three meals everyday and be happy). But the only thing I know how to make is burgers/chicken on the grill, wild rice, and macaroni and cheese.
This is close to what I was thinking you'd say...but no cigar yet. I think I am going to wait for Erik (and others) to chime in.
You want I should say something about women and marriage? Ok. Strap yourselves in. The prostitute-john relationship is the template of marriage. This is why women hate prostitutes so much and men fear them. Women know quite well they are nothing more than high-class hookers, manipulating men for resources; and men, even dumb as we are, dimly glimpse this distressingly shameful truth when we encounter a prostitute, and we are frightened by it. Marriage is nothing more than legalized prostitution. Only the men get the worse end of the deal in this bordello. What sane person would sign a contract for life promising to be someone else's indentured servant in return for the occasional unenthusiastic gratification of a mild sex fantasy? Only a fool.
Perhaps Andy was thinking of some more practical advice though. Well here it is: Andy, they will say anything to get married. Anything. You know how guys will tell any lie in order to get laid? Same for women with marriage. Only with guys the lie is a little "I love you" that burns up in the atmosphere and does little damage. With women, the lies they tell last a lifetime. Sure she is cool now, fun to be with, not too demanding, and definitely hinting that she is VERY sexual and longs to do it in all kinds of disgusting ways, but once you sign that contract things will likely be very different. They lie, Andy. That's what a woman's life IS. That is the definition of woman. They lie so much that don't even know what the truth is. Oscar Wilde: "A man's face is his biography; a woman's, her work of fiction." Lies. Lies and cruelty. This is what it means to be a woman.
An oxymoron. A contradiction in terms. What is 'godly' anyway? The word makes me sick. Godly. A code word, right? It means uptight, sexually repressed, generally unhappy. Stay the hell away from anyone identifying themselves as 'godly'. Godly hates sex. Godly hates nature in general. Godly hates crudities, dirty jokes, alcohol, swear words. Godly has been burned by something and now wants no more fires. Godly is afraid of disgust. Godly is no fun. Godly is grandma and handmade quilts and hot tea. Godly doesn't know other words for the vagina besides vagina. Godly is embroidered hearts and flowers and candy and scented candles and 'hang in there, baby' kitten posters. I hate Godly.
You want to know what ISN'T godly? Boodthirsty vengeful jealous baby-killing ol' Yahweh. Teen virgin raping Holy Spirit. God. God is not godly.
Have a nice night
Sarah you were suppose to make a comment about the wedding night will not be that "wow"-ing - even with Cosmo. Erik you were suppose to make a comment about how the last thing that is going to be "wow"-ing is a virgin.
To which my reply was going to be two fold. One, the virgin part of the card is irrelevant to me. I can take it or leave it. But there are plenty of non-virgin's that won't be good at sex regardless of how many times they have done it, and there are plenty of virgin's who will be good at sex (eventually?) because they ultimately understand that sex is a 'learned' process (Sarah, Dr. Steve Gerali is very angry with you).
Hence this post-secret:
I am not expecting to actually be "wow"-ed on the wedding night - nor would I ever want to put that kind of pressure into that situation - but what I like about the first card, is it has a desire to learn, and to be pleasing, and to grow. And Erik, that's where I think even if you are right about the majority of the women out there (not saying you are), I am looking for something different.
And P.S. - I know a bunch of women who would contradict this statement - even after being married many years.
Ouch. That hurts. I quit.
Gerali is clearly a moron. Last time we heard from him he was reciting that old urban legends about teenagers having 'lipstick' parties. Listen to the Allen Hunt theme to hear him. Wonder how many other things he gets wrong.
Whatever, you'll never quit. If you quit, then I quit.
Dude, you of all people should know that is not an urban legend.
Hey now, those are fighting words. I love that dude. And knowing you, I think you would actually really like him as well.
Piece of trivia in the category "more than you want to know": Steve Gerali is the only man I have ever shared a bed with (except for 6 minutes with Allen when he slept walked in Phoenix and climbed into my bed by accident). I was actually suppose to see Steve this weekend in Nashville, but I had to cancel due to a Board dinner. Here's us in Japan and Italy
Urban legend. Never happened. Heard it from a friend of a friend who was there.
This whole issue of premarital virginity is very anachronistic. Modern readers of the Bible try to force it to our modern circumstances but that doesn't work well - it was written by and for people living in a completely different kind of society. Sarah, as a theology student you must know all about it even if you have to toe the party line in public.
As to lipstick parties, I do not know either way but even if they happen (and there is nothing inherently implausible about it), what's the problem? If it's good enough for a President of the United States, then ... let's quote another president: "is our children learning?"
Erik, you seem to be very pessimistic. Are you divorced yourself?
Surely there are women like that, but certainly not most. Now, the government gives women who are like that lots of leverage through ridiculous divorce laws, but that's another issue.
Now to comment on Andy, AHS's resident virgin in chief:
Is there any clear evidence for it? If so, I want to be 16 again, damn it!
Smart. No need to have more than one virgin anyway. Better chances to get wow-ed anyway if at least one of you knows what they are doing.
Sleeping with your professor? Incriminating photos? Be careful that your alma mater doesn't revoke your degree if they get wind of this. They are not a Catholic school you know. ;)
I'd like to write something about Steve Gerali as well but this post is getting long. Maybe later. Let's see if that gravatar thing works.
Even as the AHS Virgin in Chief - I will agree with that. Hence my comments about Rob Bell's Sex God.
Well first of all, it was after I had graduated. Although I did ace all of his classes and they were probably the only classes I aced.... :-)
Let me guess...the masturbation thing?
Nice. Although I am not a big House fan - now Bones on the other hand...love it!
But she is also determined to not do anything until the wedding night. How would you even know whether she is like that if there is no physical dimension to your dating relationship?
Yeah, that was a good thread. :)
However, I think maintaining virginity until marriage is one of these obsolete things.
By the way, is Rob Bell the same as Robert Bell who commented on one of Allen's blog posts?
Retrograde causality. That's my theory and I am sticking with it! ;-)
I don't know -what you and Erik wrote sounded interesting and II was going to look him up but I have failed to find any of his writings online. Is he the one in Erik's mp3 talking about masturbation and "putting your seed inside a whore" toward the end? As a college professor in his field one would think he'd have a number fo essays posted on his website.
Blasphemer! House >> Bones.
But House is only half of my avatar. The other half is "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gordon_Freeman">Gordon Freeman, the hero and playable character in the Half-Life games.
Weddin' night's gonna be a blast.
:]
Well then hello there. My name is Andy and I am glad you found my blog ;)