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What Did I Learn? Married People Are Awful Wingmen.

05/29/08

Permalink 10:44:54 am, by Andy Borgmann Email , 583 words
Categories: Life, Entertainment, Travel, Dating

What Did I Learn? Married People Are Awful Wingmen.

I should have known it was going to be like this. Friday, May 9: CJ and Andrea were scheduled to fly into Atlanta. The past week I had worked 67 hours to make sure everything was ready. Then on Friday, in the classic state of a "modern man," I cleaned the house, baked a cake, worked 8 hours, marinated chicken, paid bills, went grocery shopping, did laundry, and constructed a table. Why a table you asked? Because as I was moping my kitchen floor, I leaned on my old table and it split in half. So a run to Ikea and back at rush hour, and 30 minutes of drilling, bam a new table. That day was crazy. But little did I know it was just the beginning.

Here are some stats from the past 3 weeks:

  • Miles Driven: 1,743
  • Miles Flown: 1,543
  • Money Spent Since May 9th: $1,954.64
  • Money Spent Since May 16th (Asher's Arrival): $1,471.16
  • Total Number of Different Beds Slept In: 7
  • Total Number of Hospitals Visited: 3
  • Total Time Spent in Hopsitals: 37 Hours

So what did I learn from all of this? Three things.

1.) Police in Charleston don't monitor parking meters, but they do make up stop signs for you to run through
It is true. I stopped paying the parking meters in Charleston, but this was only after I noticed that nobody else did either. Ironically, I was pulled over on by a bicycle cop (that's a first) for running a stop sign that wasn't there.

2.) Hospitals are disappointingly not like Scrubs
We all know I am a huge Scrubs fan. The whole time I was looking for a Crazy Janitor, or a Dr. Cox, or the Chief of Medicine. But nothing! There wasn't even a hot Dr. Reid anywhere. Although there were some hot nurses. This brings me to lesson #3.

3.) Married people are the absolute worst wingmen
Ok, so there was this hot girl who worked at the Ronald McDonald House where CJ and Andrea stayed. And so sure enough, Andrea goes to check out, and the girl asks about me. So she proceeds to tell her that I am a radio producer (good), my job is really flexible (good), and I am staying at the Motel 6. What the heck Andrea? Seriously!

No, he's such a good guy he rearranged his schedule to be here for three weeks. No, he's so great with our daughter Jadyn if he were just married we would consider making him the God-parent. No, he dropped $1,400 with out blinking an eye just to help us. No, he's travelled the world and been to tons of exotic locations. No, None of that? Just, he's staying at the Motel 6?

Heck, I would have even taken the Motel 6 reference if you would have prefaced it with 1.) he's slept on so many floors in third world countries doing humanitarian and missionary work, the Motel 6 is like the Ritz or 2.) he stays at the Motel 6 now because he is good with money and he doesn't care and it means his wife and children won't have to stay at the Motel 6 when they travel, or 3.) all the hotels were full and/or ridiculously expensive due to the Memorial Day weekend festivities.

Married people everywhere, take a lesson from this Scrubs clip.

Ok, maybe not the drunken weekend part, but you get the idea. That is what we call a good Wingman.

But all and all, it was a great extended trip. We had a great time and was worth every second and penny. Here's a look back, through pictures.

Trip 01
Trip 02
Trip 03
Trip 04
Trip 05
Trip 06
Trip 07
Trip 08
Trip 09
Trip 10
Trip 11

5 comments

Comment from: Pat Rowland [Visitor] Email · http://outofneutral.tv
So what is going on with the hot girl? Are you going to use your super nerdy techno twittering skills to contact her?
PermalinkPermalink 05/29/08 @ 15:33
Comment from: Sarah Elwer [Visitor] Email · http://sarahelwer.blogspot.com
ha ha ha - yeah, I want to know the answer to Pat's question too!!!

Also, not all married people would have said what Andrea said!!!
PermalinkPermalink 05/29/08 @ 16:40
Comment from: Justin [Visitor] Email · http://hotlantahottie.blogspot.com/
"And so sure enough, Andrea goes to check out, and the girl asks about me."

And so sure enough? This makes it sounds like all sorts of girls ask you out all the time, which you and I both know is completely false.

PermalinkPermalink 05/29/08 @ 18:50
Comment from: Andy Borgmann [Member] Email · http://www.2timothy42.org
So what is going on with the hot girl? Are you going to use your super nerdy techno twittering skills to contact her?
First of all, I am not as nerdy as CJ. He's the one who gets into all this internet stuff. I just figure out how to get paid to use it.

Second of all, no, because of the Motel 6 incident she wasn't that impressed ;)

Also, not all married people would have said what Andrea said!!!
Yeah, but I will cut her some slack given the fact she passed a human being from her body a few days earlier. And P-L-EASE, you wouldn't have said anything better.

And so sure enough? This makes it sounds like all sorts of girls ask you out all the time, which you and I both know is completely false.
Justin, what the heck? You are my real wingman, and all trip long I have been saying, "ohh if only Justin would have been there instead of Andrea, he'd of said the right thing." And now you pull this comment...shoot! I am seriously wingman-less in this world. This is why I am 25 and single.
PermalinkPermalink 05/29/08 @ 21:55
Comment from: CJ [Visitor] Email · http://www.visualtrademark.com
Ok, so there was this hot girl who worked at the Ronald McDonald House
She was not a hot girl -- she was a dirty hooker and you know it. Andrea was just protecting you. What you don't know is that she told her that you just saved a puppy from being hit by a CARTA bus. She was really into you at that time, but when she mentioned the fact that you blow your nose inside the collar of your shirt, she became disinterested....it is all really your fault.

I tried to hook you up with the hot resident and nurses, but every time you came with me to see Ash, all the "ugos" came out!
PermalinkPermalink 05/30/08 @ 20:01

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    Andy is the Producer of The Allen Hunt Show; a progressive, talk radio show based in Atlanta, GA aimed at bringing faith back into the public discussion. And enjoys travel, aviation, web design, politics, friends, and faith. He holds that the secret to a full life is loving God and loving people - which he fails at constantly.

    Andy's blog is a place to discuss religion, politics, ministry, education, and well, just life! It is cross-post at The Allen Hunt Show, and, in a more limited fashion, at Newsvine.

    Andy lives in Alpharetta, GA.

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