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What If I Knocked Someone Up

06/08/07

Permalink 12:28:20 am, by Andy Borgmann Email , 682 words
Categories: Life, Sex, Children, Parenting

What If I Knocked Someone Up

What If I Knocked Someone Up?  Knocked Up & AbortionThis past weekend I went and saw the movie Knocked Up. I love the term knocked up. Ask CJ & Andrea, or my friends Abbey & Jon from college. When they were pregnant with their first child, I would always refer to them as being knocked up (they were married, don't worry) and it was hilarious. But this movie, and my stage in life, have got me thinking about abortion.

Now before I proceed, I should say that I think abortion is wrong in pretty much all cases. If it were just a personal choice issue, I would be totally for it - as I do think a woman has the right to do what she will with her body. However, it isn't just a personal choice in my mind, it is a life. There is a great scene in the movie where the "Knocked Up One" is talking to her mom and her mom is telling her to just "take care of the situation," and we all know what that means. But she decides what is inside her isn't a situation, it is a life. And at the end of the movie there is a great shot during the credits where the mom is holding the result of that "situation" (aka the baby). And ultimately, for that reason only, I support pro-life laws.

But this post isn't really about that. This post is a little more sympathetic than that. I have been thinking a lot about what I would do if I knocked someone up "accidentally." How would I react? And for the first time ever, I think a male might possibly be the closest to understanding the fear of pregnancy like a woman does. Why? Because I am a minister; now hold on.

If I got someone pregnant, it wouldn't just be a "social faux paux," but it would mean I would most likely lose my job. It means that I would have a seriously hard time finding a new job in my field, and most likely have to completely redefine who I am. Not only that, but the ministry that I work with would have a tarnished image (maybe even significantly public since we are apart of the "media" now), and there would be significant disappointment from all areas of my life. All my "great" plans I have for myself would pretty much instantly go out the window. No book deals. No career in politics. No developing a nationally syndicated talk radio show. Even if I did the "right thing" in the situation, there would be some serious consequences.

Now I am not going to argue on whether or not all the above are fair - what I am going to say is that all the above isn't that far off from what all women have to deal with in an unwanted pregnancy. And it is that fear, and unequal serious consequences, that makes abortion a little more of a "gray" issue (not more "gray" in the sense of the morality, but "gray" in the reaction).

I would hope if I got someone pregnant, I would be man enough to do the right thing - whatever that meant. But I am not 100% sure I wouldn't at least think of suggesting the alternative. It doesn't make it right, in fact, it would be wrong. But I at least get it now. I get it a lot more than I got it when I was in college that's for sure.

Whether it is a porn producer in Atlanta that I have lunch with, or a gay friend, or some women I know that have had abortions, I always, always, always try to get across that they are loved and cherished not only by God, but by me as well. Just as God was still there for David when he knocked up Bathsheba, I would want someone to be there for me - and until that day comes (lets pray not), I want to be there for others. That's a Christ-like response to an unwanted pregnancy that we should all strive for.

8 comments

Comment from: Pat [Visitor] Email
Is there really such thing as an accidental pregnacy? Anyone that has ever been through 5th grade health class knows the potential result of having sex, just like you know the potential driving after having to much to drink. If you say you accidentally got pregnant does that mean you accidentally had sex? I've never accidentally had sex, I've been lucky a few times though, HA! On 3 occasions God has blessed us with a child and although we weren't "planning" on any of the girls none of them were an accident. I believe the problem is lack of responsiblity in our culture. No one wants to take responsiblity for their actions, take for example the Paris Hilton fiasco that is all over the headlines. Just my opinion!
PermalinkPermalink 06/08/07 @ 11:24
Comment from: Andy Borgmann [Member] Email · http://www.2timothy42.org
Quoted From: Pat [Visitor]
Is there really such thing as an accidental pregnacy?
What I was referring to is that, as I am sure you would expect, I am not having sex right now - nor am I planning to. But, let's be honest, you never know in a moment of weakness what can happen (as the story of David and Bathsheba is a great example of the best of men succumbing to weakness)

Quoted From: Pat [Visitor]
If you say you accidentally got pregnant does that mean you accidentally had sex?
Exactly.

Quoted From: Pat [Visitor]
I believe the problem is lack of responsiblity in our culture.
I would totally agree with that. And I am not saying I want to create and excuse for poor decisions. All I am really trying to say is that I understand a little bit more than I used to the fear associated with a "mistake" (maybe that's a better word) pregnancy.

PermalinkPermalink 06/08/07 @ 11:43
Comment from: Sarah Elwer [Visitor] Email
ummm...just to clarify, David did not accidentally sleep with Bathsheba! Putting it as a "moment" of weakness means that we had only a moment of weakness. The roof top counts as that for sure - but the going and getting her and all that doesn't count as a "moment" anymore.

That's all on that.

I am glad to hear you are thinking about this - I have been too. Babies can "mess up" your plans and all the stuff you worked towards. I won't go back to school, I won't want to leave the kid with a babysitter, thus my sweet new job would be out of the question. Yeah, this is all stuff I think about, it's scary.

But, is it selfish? Am I being selfish to be thinking about "my plans" when there is a new life and blessing from the Lord involved in the situation? I don't know...
PermalinkPermalink 06/08/07 @ 17:24
Comment from: Andy Borgmann [Member] Email · http://www.2timothy42.org
Quoted From: Sarah Elwer [Visitor]
Putting it as a "moment" of weakness means that we had only a moment of weakness. The roof top counts as that for sure - but the going and getting her and all that doesn't count as a "moment" anymore.
Ok, thank you Dr. Kay Smith. Sheesh! I am not using moment in the literal term. We have "moments" of our life that are weaker than others, or "moments" of our marriage that aren't as good as the others. Man, what is with everyone being so literal today. I am just going to start putting quotes around everything I do.

Quoted From: Sarah Elwer [Visitor]
But, is it selfish? Am I being selfish to be thinking about "my plans" when there is a new life and blessing from the Lord involved in the situation? I don't know...
You are not being selfish, you are being smart: because you are a newly wed and you want to make the right decisions.

I, on the other hand, if encouraged an abortion, would be (amongst other things) being selfish.

PermalinkPermalink 06/08/07 @ 17:31
Comment from: Sarah Elwer [Visitor] Email
True, that would be selfish.

Who's Kay SMith? Should I be upset you called me by her name?
PermalinkPermalink 06/08/07 @ 18:24
Comment from: Andy Borgmann [Member] Email · http://www.2timothy42.org
Quoted From: Sarah Elwer [Visitor]
Who's Kay SMith? Should I be upset you called me by her name?
How were you a B.S. major and you don't know who Kay Smith was...She was only the Biblical Studies department chair.

But on a more personal level, she is like Magneto (if I were Professor Xavier) in X-Men (if you don't understand the analogy, ask your husband). Ultimately she was kind of my "theological" nemesis, but we were also good friends and we had good respect for each other. We'd have good discussions (one in a cafe in Toronto that I will always remember), but we rarely agreed.

I called you Kay because she would say that I was excusing David's actions by calling his actions a "moment of weakness," thus continuing the patriarchal assumption of strong men that are "weakened" by women when they are just tempted too much. ;-)
PermalinkPermalink 06/08/07 @ 18:31
Comment from: Abbey [Visitor] Email
So I hadn't visited your site in quite awhile and what d'ya know, I get a shout out for being knocked up! SWEET!!! I'm glad to know that I've made such an impression on you as a wise, mature and caring individual, a Christ-like woman investing in the lives of students, or, at the very least, somebody who's pretty fertile... I love it Borgmann, and the link to the Zeke pic. too!
PermalinkPermalink 06/25/07 @ 16:04
Comment from: Erik [Visitor] Email · http://www.allenhuntshowsucks.com
David was not a good man. David was a horrible man, like most of the men of the O.T.

2 Samuel

5:8 And David said on that day, Whosoever getteth up to the gutter, and smiteth the Jebusites, and the lame and the blind that are hated of David's soul, he shall be chief and captain. Wherefore they said, The blind and the lame shall not come into the house.


Quoted From: sectim42:
Just as God was still there for David when he knocked up Bathsheba,


...well I suppose:
12:14 Howbeit, because by this deed thou hast given great occasion to the enemies of the LORD to blaspheme, the child also that is born unto thee shall surely die.br /> ...but with friends like God, who needs enemies?
PermalinkPermalink 07/06/07 @ 21:23

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    Andy is the Producer of The Allen Hunt Show; a progressive, talk radio show based in Atlanta, GA aimed at bringing faith back into the public discussion. And enjoys travel, aviation, web design, politics, friends, and faith. He holds that the secret to a full life is loving God and loving people - which he fails at constantly.

    Andy's blog is a place to discuss religion, politics, ministry, education, and well, just life! It is cross-post at The Allen Hunt Show, and, in a more limited fashion, at Newsvine.

    Andy lives in Alpharetta, GA.

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