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Yes, I know I know, I am doing another "Why I Am Single" post. You are probably getting sick of it. But instead of blaming women, or my dad (which actually were both blaming me, just using the others as examples as to what is wrong with me), this one I am blaming myself directly.
I was recently reading on Newsvine the 10 Reasons Why Smart Guys Are Not Successful With Women. And before Sarah or someone else pipes in and calls me a conceited bastard for thinking I am smart, I was in the top 90th percentile on my SATs, so at least I am a documented conceited bastard. But I digress.
Nine of the ten reasons I thought were crap, but one hit a little too close to home.
Reason #4: They Psych Themselves Out
Smart guys do something that fascinates the hell out of me They come up with all the reasons why everything wont work when it comes to women and dating. They actually figure out why what it is that they would like to do will probably fail
BINGO! I totally sympathize with this. Now I commented on this on Newsvine and someone suggested that I ask 30 girls on dates in 30 days. But I thought, this isn't good advice at all. I don't have a confidence issue (remember, I am a conceited bastard), and I have no problem conversing with "new girls." I don't even really have a problem asking girls out (and being rejected). But even if that were the problem, how does going on 30 dates help that problem. It just postpones the inevitable. Sooner or later I'll figure out why this relationship just can't work and then leave it.
I think one of the reasons I am single relates to why I have a hard time with religion sometimes: I suck at faith and lack of control. There is a certain degree of faith involved in starting a dating relationship. You have to be able to say, hey, I don't have all the answers but I am going to have faith that it will work out.
Jesus said that the best faith is a childlike (not childish) faith, and I think that is true with love. The best example of childlike love is found in 1Corinthians 13:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
In the end I think I need to step out in faith and learn to love unconditionally like 1Corinthians 13 says, or I just might be single the rest of my life.
Quoted From: Lissa [Visitor]So do you think that will work as a pick up line. "Hey baby, do you want to see if my puzzle piece fits in yours?" *SMACK* "No I swear, my friend Lissa told me that's all I need: someone for my puzzle piece to fit in." *SMACK SMACK* ;) But in all seriousness, I get what you are saying.
You have alot of puzzle pieces that someone needs to fit in
Quoted From: Lissa [Visitor]I think the only problem with this idea is that for this verse to be true, it takes both partners believing and trying their best to apply it to their life. The problem is that when one member lives like this, and the other doesn't, the person who does live by this will most definitely get taken advantage of and mistreated.
Loving someone is doing everything that verse says, but being in a relationship means that you do have to protect yourself sometimes and think about your own needs and if they're being met.
Quoted From: sarah [Visitor]What can I say, I am so smart I even know when you are going to make fun of me for thinking I am smart. But I also need to remind you that I am also a better packer than you per our trip to Italy. ;)
As soon as I read the title of that article I was thinking "Hmmm, so we think we're part of that group do we Mr. Borgmann..." and then half a second later you call me out in your blog!
Quoted From: The Last Cainanite [Visitor]It's odd that you say that. I found it easier to date girls in Cali than in Georgia. I have about three girls in Cali that I would date in a heartbeat if I were willing to do long distant relationships.
Statistically women are far more religious than men. Also, your are in the Bible belt now, not in the heathen California.
Quoted From: The Last Cainanite [Visitor]Just because the dude was celibate doesn't mean he didn't know anything about love. Also, there are academic disputes out there on whether or not Paul was actually single, but that is beside the point.
By the way, why would you get your dating advice from a guy (Paul) who was (supposedly) a celibate lifelong bachelor?
It's odd that you say that. I found it easier to date girls in Cali than in Georgia. I have about three girls in Cali that I would date in a heartbeat if I were willing to do long distant relationships.
Just because the dude was celibate doesn't mean he didn't know anything about love.
Also, there are academic disputes out there on whether or not Paul was actually single, but that is beside the point.
Quoted From: The Last Cainanite [Visitor]I took it down because after conversing with a couple of married friends, I realized it wasn't communicating the point I was trying to communicate and it came off a little hard on married couples. I thought for sure you saw my response before I took it down, I'll go ahead and e-mail it to you. P.S. I wasn't bragging about how much money I made. Money does not equal success.
First off, what happened to your last blog entry? The one where you bragged about how much money you made?
Quoted From: The Last Cainanite [Visitor]Talk about unsubstantiated claims. Nothing, in any of my studies, in a very liberal instituation and sometimes very gay friendly, had ever presented the idea that Paul was gay. I'll go back and try and find my sources on him not being single. Most thought he was probably married before his conversion (being that he was a Pharisee and it was unusual for Pharisees not to be married) and then because of his conversion his wife might have left him.
Honestly, I have never heard of that claim. Do you have any supporting sources?
What I have heard is that some scholars think he might have been gay.
Quoted From: The Last Cainanite [Visitor]It's at the bottom of the webpage. Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct rebuke and encourage - with great patience and careful instruction.
By the way, what does 2 Timothy 42 mean? 2nd Timothy does not have 42 chapters (not even close, it is a very short "book") and 2 Timothy 4:2 is hardly impressive
Talk about unsubstantiated claims. Nothing, in any of my studies, in a very liberal instituation and sometimes very gay friendly, had ever presented the idea that Paul was gay.
I'll go back and try and find my sources on him not being single.
Most thought he was probably married before his conversion (being that he was a Pharisee and it was unusual for Pharisees not to be married) and then because of his conversion his wife might have left him.
Quoted From: The Last Cainanite [Visitor]Yes, yes I do. Pharisees weren't single. Paul himself said that he was the Pharisee of the Pharisees. It is a lot more plausible to me that he was married/divorced than he was gay. There was relatively no historical time when theologians thoughts Paul was gay until the 20th century.
Do you seriously think this is less speculative than possibility of him being gay? For one, homosexuality would explain his rabid homophobia, his life having left him because he converted to this new weird religion does not.
Quoted From: The Last Cainanite [Visitor]That's a good question, and I am not really sure. I don't think that is per se a stumper in my mind, I just find it interesting. Why does he not tell us what the "thorn in his flesh" is (read, the struggle that he keeps on struggling with). One could assume that meant that he was gay, or maybe it was masterbation (although I am don't usually follow that because I can't say theologically speaking masturbation is wrong). Maybe it was that he visited prostitutes. Or that he was a drinker. Or that he ate ham, and as a Jew that wasn't acceptable? Who knows? He just chose not to tell us.
Also, he mentions relations between a believing spouse and unbelieving one - why does he not allude to his own life if his unbelieving wife indeed left him?
Quoted From: sectim42 [Member]
Yes, yes I do. Pharisees weren't single. Paul himself said that he was the Pharisee of the Pharisees. It is a lot more plausible to me that he was married/divorced than he was gay.
There was relatively no historical time when theologians thoughts Paul was gay until the 20th century.
Why does he not tell us what the "thorn in his flesh" is (read, the struggle that he keeps on struggling with).
One could assume that meant that he was gay, or maybe it was masterbation (although I am don't usually follow that because I can't say theologically speaking masturbation is wrong).
I actually think his statements about the a believing spouse and an unbelieving spouse actually alludes to the fact it happened to him personally and people were attacking his character (which we know people did as that was pretty much what the entire book of Acts is written for) for it.
Quoted From: The Last Cainainite [Visitor]Yes, yes I do actually. Allen and I have had discussions on this. We disagree...but it is his show.
So you disagree with Allen on that point?
Quoted From: The Last Cainanite [Visitor]This is what I don't get by this point. Christians are normally accused of being too "vanilla." Wanting the world to be exactly like each other, with no creativity or difference, etc... Yet - even though that is not true at all - we then get reamed for having differences. Frankly, I am glad that God didn't just make life so unbelievably black and white that there was no discussion or adventure.
By the way, how do you explain different Christians having different opinions despite (supposedly) being indwelled by the same Holy Spirit?
| "Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage - with great patience and careful instruction." -2Timothy 4:2 |
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