Andy Borgmann's Blog

Yes, I know I know, I am doing another "Why I Am Single" post. You are probably getting sick of it. But instead of blaming women, or my dad (which actually were both blaming me, just using the others as examples as to what is wrong with me), this one I am blaming myself directly.

I was recently reading on Newsvine the 10 Reasons Why Smart Guys Are Not Successful With Women. And before Sarah or someone else pipes in and calls me a conceited bastard for thinking I am smart, I was in the top 90th percentile on my SATs, so at least I am a documented conceited bastard. But I digress.

Nine of the ten reasons I thought were crap, but one hit a little too close to home.

Reason #4: They Psych Themselves Out

Smart guys do something that fascinates the hell out of me They come up with all the reasons why everything wont work when it comes to women and dating. They actually figure out why what it is that they would like to do will probably fail

BINGO! I totally sympathize with this. Now I commented on this on Newsvine and someone suggested that I ask 30 girls on dates in 30 days. But I thought, this isn't good advice at all. I don't have a confidence issue (remember, I am a conceited bastard), and I have no problem conversing with "new girls." I don't even really have a problem asking girls out (and being rejected). But even if that were the problem, how does going on 30 dates help that problem. It just postpones the inevitable. Sooner or later I'll figure out why this relationship just can't work and then leave it.

I think one of the reasons I am single relates to why I have a hard time with religion sometimes: I suck at faith and lack of control. There is a certain degree of faith involved in starting a dating relationship. You have to be able to say, hey, I don't have all the answers but I am going to have faith that it will work out.

Jesus said that the best faith is a childlike (not childish) faith, and I think that is true with love. The best example of childlike love is found in 1Corinthians 13:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

In the end I think I need to step out in faith and learn to love unconditionally like 1Corinthians 13 says, or I just might be single the rest of my life.