Andy's Blog
I have to say I miss college. I have now been out of college for exactly 1 year, 1 month, 19 days, 8 hours, 32 minutes and 7 seconds. All this time has created one thought: I loved college. The interesting thing is, when I was in college, I used those 4 years to come to the conclusion that I loved high school. Now this does not mean that I am living in a constant stage of nostalgia, unable to appreciate the moment. But what I don’t understand is why are these feelings so powerful sometimes that I just want to give up everything, call all my college friends, and get a job at McDonalds if it means I can be with them again like we once were. Day 2 of Chuck Klosterman week speaks to this.“There are so many things that will never happen to me again, and I never even noticed when those things stopped occurring…They die long before you do. It’s astonishing to consider all the things from your past that used to happen all the time but (a) never happen anymore, and (b) never even cross your mind."
-Killing Yourself to Live (Page 130)
This is what I think saddens me the most. Waverunning at the Huntington Reservoir used to be one of the favorites of my summer activities. I have no idea when that stopped, but most likely, it will never be apart of my life ever again. I’ll never watch another high school football game with my closest friends in 20° weather. I’ll never walk again into a friends dorm room, or mod, or apartment after class, pop in a Friends DVD and watch the entire 8th season. I’ll never wake up at the Justice’s lake house to a beautiful morning, on the porch, reading my Bible, and waiting for the girls to wake up so we can go boating.
What kills me is that I don’t even know when this happened. Sure, waverunning stopped after I graduated from college and failed to return to Indiana afterwards. Football ended in November of 2000. But these are just time frames. I don’t want to know when these things ended. I want to know when these things ended. When did I wake up, and for the first time realize that those are memories of nostalgia, not next Friday’s activities. These things were so cool, so fun, so fulfilling, and I didn’t even notice them ending. I just moved along.
The All-American Rejects ultimately speak to this situation. We just Move Along and I don’t know why. I guess life doesn’t allow for you to stay put. So you either suck it up and move along or you become “that guy” who still living in high school. And being that guy is sadder then living with nostalgia.
Good blog today. What I find even weirder is sometimes you lose touch with people, even people you were pretty close with. But you never leave a conversation with the person you lost touch with and say to yourself "this is the last time I am ever going to talk to this person." You always think it will continue and one day it doesn't and it doesn't even strike you as losing touch till a couple of months later. It just happens. Same goes for activities. Some you might be able to say this is going to be the last time I ..... ex. dances, football games, but other activities smaller day by day activities which gave you happiness just stop and you never told yourselve that this is going to be the last time you are going to do this thing. But maybe it is for the better maybe it would just make us sad as people. I remember when dad told me about Trina Gould husband dying in surgery and that they knew there was a high chance going in that he could die, and I thought to myself that would be weird everything you did from the time you decided to have the surgery from the time you actually had it would be a constant this could be the last..... even little things like, this could be the last car ride I take, this could be the last time I am ever outside, this could be the last time i see my wife, this could be the last time I watch the morning news, this could be the last time I wake up. Gets ya thinking.
Tell me about it. It makes you glad for the life we get to live, the people we get to live it with, and for the God who lets us live it.
I can throw a football over a mountain. Want to see?
hmmm...this made me miss you. i still find it strange that I would not even think twice about saying that you are one of my best friends from college yet in all actuality I met you 4 months before graduation - weird. Anyways, I guess that has nothing to do with your blog, but again...it made me miss you and get all nostalgic.
