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Why The Church Should Hate Stouffer's

06/16/06

Permalink 06:00:00 am, by Andy Borgmann Email , 384 words
Categories: Life, Religion, Christianity

Why The Church Should Hate Stouffer's

Stouffers_MealOk, so I have had a lot of serious blogs the past couple of days and I have decided to write more of a light hearted post today. The other night, after finishing another 12-hour day, I came home to my apartment and popped in a nice Stouffer's dinner. As the microwave is counting down and I begin to anticipate a nice piece of lasagna in my mouth, it is now when I realize the church should hate Stouffer's.

Why you ask? Simple. In contemporary American society the church is the institution always talking about "Family Values." Thanks to Dobson, all that American Christians seem to be able to ask is, "is this good for family values." Now, I am not going to debate in this post if this is a valid question (which it is not), but I am just going to assume we will all go along with the validity of this question so I can make my point.

I think Stouffer's is the reason I can tolerate being single. Their was a point a couple of months ago where I got so unbelievably sick of fast food and eating out (which since the age of 14 I have done a lot). I think a lot of bachelor's come to this conclusion. And I think in ages past, it is as this point when they say, "hey, I should probably find myself a wife." However, along comes Stouffer's and meets the need, causing me to delay my impulses to find a wife. If I could adopt children from Stouffer's, and Stouffer’s could somehow meet my sexual need, then I am pretty sure I would never need to find a wife at all. Thus, Stouffer's is the "domesticated version" of sleeping with a girlfriend, hence the reason the church should hate it. :-)

P.S. If you want a real reason to hate Stouffer's, it is the fact they are owned by the evil Nestle corporation who use to put additives in their baby formula in South Africa so babies would become addicted to it instead of their mother's breast milk. Now their is a true reason the church should hate Stouffer's but that doesn’t go over as easy as a “family values” plea (you knew I couldn't stay light-hearted for two long).

2 comments

Comment from: sarah howley [Visitor]
Andy...you make me laugh! Thanks for reminding me how lame you are! However, I do actually have a comment… what about the microwave? I think the church should actually hate the microwave more than Stouffers. The culture of “instant gratification” that has become a byproduct of the microwave seems to have been very harmful to the church. “Church shopping” instead of commitment to the body… people are looking for something to meet their needs, and meet their needs quickly… be it a pastor, a wife or Stouffers, the art of waiting seems to be a thing of the past. However, as I see it, often the waiting is where the growth is. What do you think?
PermalinkPermalink 06/16/06 @ 08:54
Comment from: Patrick [Visitor]
Ohhhh... so I had it so wrong. I need to get a *MICROWAVE*. :)

Why wasn't I told about this earlier?
PermalinkPermalink 06/16/06 @ 14:03

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Andy is the Producer of The Allen Hunt Show; a progressive, talk radio show based in Atlanta, GA aimed at bringing faith back into the public discussion. And enjoys travel, aviation, web design, politics, friends, and faith. He holds that the secret to a full life is loving God and loving people - which he fails at constantly.

Andy's blog is a place to discuss religion, politics, ministry, education, and well, just life! It is cross-post at The Allen Hunt Show, and, in a more limited fashion, at Newsvine.

Andy lives in Alpharetta, GA.

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