Andy Borgmann's Blog

Did you see the most recent attempt of James Dobson trying to prove his political prowess? In a 27 minute segment, Dobson accused Obama of "deliberately distorting the traditional understanding of the Bible to fit his own world view, his own confused theology." Jon Stewart put it a bit more comedically.

Now I am not a blind follower of Jon Stewart theology. The truth is, the Old Testament and New Testament talk about homosexuality, so the issue can't simply be written off as if Leviticus is the only place this is discussed. And I did listen to Barack's whole speech back in January and it was brilliant.

But I am not here to discuss political speeches or debate Jewish comedian exegesis. What I think needs to be addressed is what I think Dobson's legacy will be: dividing our culture to the point where sincere and loving relationships are impossible except in cases where you agree with every opinion.

This past week I met someone who I thought might be a new friend here in Atlanta. We both shared a huge interest in aviation. So I was excited since most of my friends make fun of my aviation curiosity. I could tell from his Facebook page that he was gay. But didn't think anything of it.

So we started talking online and he instantly wants to know about the radio show I produce. He asks are we right wing. I say nope. We are moderate. Next question, "so do you think all homosexuals are going to hell?" Thank you James Dobson.

I, of course, try and explain my thoughts on the issue; probably not very eloquently. But I could tell, it was a loss cause.

Nevermind that last weekend I said on the air one of the three celebrities I'd like to have coffee with is Ellen DeGeneres.

Nevermind that I have defended gay marriage from a legal perspective in other blogs.

Nevermind that I have had lunch with a porn producer.

Nevermind that I sincerely consider Erik of AllenHuntShowSucks.com a friend and genuinely care for the dude.

Thanks to the Dobsonion worldview, a Bible-believing Christian and a homosexual just can't be friends.

It brings me back a little to high school. There was a gay boy at my high school named Jason (not real name). Jason was a year younger than me, and while I am sure there were other gay individuals at Homestead, he was the only one who was "out." I primarily met Jason because he was good friends with my girlfriend Theresa.

I liked Jason. He was a good guy. I can remember one specific night when I was at the school after 10pm working on the yearbook by myself in the pub room. Jason was there for something related to show choir. I don't know what brought him to the pub room that night, but we had a great conversation. Towards the end, I remember saying, "you know Jason, we aren't very different." To which he replied, "No Andy, I don't think that is the case."

The truth is, most of us aren't very different from one another. We just choose to allow the few differences to get in the way. Thanks James.

I came across an article where Russian President Dmitri Medvedev was blaming the US for the global economic crisis. My first thought was, "ok, so let me get this straight international community: when the economy is good around the world, the US is a greedy, selfish nation, but when the economy is bad, it is America's fault?" We just can't win, huh? I'll leave that at that for now. My second thought was, "being a father is a lot like being America," sometimes, you just can't win.

This drew my thoughts to a conversation we had during production planning a couple of weeks ago. We were talking about doing a show around Father's day, and it instantly turned negative. I piped in and said, "why is it when we do a show on Mother's day, it is about how great moms are. But when we do shows about dads, it's always about their short comings." Let's just do a positive show about dads for once.

It reminds me of this Jeff Foxworthy bit:

I gotta admit, I am a little guilty of that. I might not have been on Oprah (yet), but it doesn't change that I have been disrespectful in the past. This is all the more damning after reading a book by Shaunti Feldhan called For Women Only, where she details that 74% of all men would rather feel alone and unloved than disrespected and inadequate. As a man, it is a sentiment that I would agree with, and a sentiment I realized that many times I have failed to show towards my dad.

I was touched by something Tim Russert said about his dad that I came across this week. Take a listen:

My dad has sacrificed a lot for me to have the life I have. But that isn't what I respect him the most for. So at the risk of getting too long, I am going to list the seven things I respect my dad for the most:

1. Work Hard, Play Hard
   Since before I can remember, and more than I can count, the words, "you work hard, you play hard" have come from the lips of my dad. And frankly, I love it. That simple motto and work ethic has transcended my life more than just about anything else. Combine that with my heavenly Father's instruction to live life to the fullest, completely explains the zeal I have for my job and the zeal I have for life in general.
2. You Will Never Be the Best
   Ok...Ok...to be fair, he never told me that exactly. But when I played Little League, my dad would always say that I would never be the best at baseball, and that nobody I know would be the best. You know what is wonderful about it (besides being right): he never told me I should stop playing. Translate that 10 to 15 years later. Just because I might not be the best at something, doesn't mean that it isn't worth doing or that I don't have value in doing it. Not worrying about being the best, frees one up to just worry about doing their best.
3. I Could Fail and He Always Had My Back
   Let's be honest, I don't ever want to have to move back in with my parents. And they probably don't want me to move back in with them. But I have always known that in the event that I needed to, I always had a place to stay and someone to feed me. Mixed with the work hard / play hard mindset, and the mindset that I don't have to be the best, this security blanket has given me the freedom to risk in all areas of my life, knowing that if I failed, it would be alright. That confidence has effected everything from me buying a home to sticking with a job in uncharted territory, and everything in between.
4. My Own Haircut
   Dad would always lament about how when he was a child his dad always chose his haircuts and how he vowed he would never tell us how to cut our hair. To his credit, we had some pretty crazy hair styles through the years, and I am sure we looked ridiculous, but he never told us we couldn't do it. It was a weird sense of independence and creativity that I think set the foundation for other areas in life. He wasn't happy about my choice in college or major, but he let me make that decision. He wasn't happy about me going and studying in Israel, but he let me make my own decision (and stayed in touch while I was there better than anybody). It wasn't that he just sat idly by and didn't interject his opinion. I had to put up a fight. I had to defend myself. And in the end, I respect him more for that. He wanted me to think about why I was doing things, make sure I understood the potential consequences of my actions, but in the end, left it up to me.
5. The Evil Janitor
   I can still remember it. We were walking into the Memorial Coliseum in Fort Wayne, IN and there he was: our elementary school janitor. He was a mean janitor. We didn't like him very much. So my brother and I started making fun of him for having a second job. I remember the words, "ohh do they not pay you enough at the school" coming out of my mouth. And my dad looked at my brother and I and said, "listen to me, you never make fun of someone for something like that. He's doing what he needs to do to provide for his family and that's respectable." Years later, after mission trips and the like, I realized how important that lesson was. That everyone has value regardless of their class in life.
6. Living in America
   I remember driving home from my first Chicago Cubs game with dad. I think I was in 1st grade (maybe 2nd grade). And we got caught up in a conversation about how fortunate we were to live in the United States of America. We have the freedoms that billions of people would die for and that thousands of people had died for. And while it wasn't said in these exact words, this fortune was something we didn't earn. We were were fortunate to have that blessing.
7. Law Firm Situation
   In the last 10 years, there is probably nothing I respect my dad more for than the situation he went through this last year with his law firm. I am not going to get into all the details. But I saw a man that put his own well-being below that of others in his office. I saw a man who could have taken the easy way out, but chose to stay and do the right thing. I saw a man who took a risk, managed a situation that wasn't his fault, but ultimately did the right thing. It's that kind of integrity that gets missed in all the lawyer jokes and stereotypes (which we all enjoy), but that makes me very proud of him. It inspires me to do the right thing in my work life, and more importantly, it inspires me to realize that sometimes life deals you a crappy hand, but it is up to us to make the best of it.

Thank you dad. I love and respect you very much. I hope you have a great Father's day.

I have a huge dilemma on my hand. This dilemma is so large, I think I am going to lose some sleep over it tonight. It just hit me tonight, when watching the Cubs game, that I haven't been to a Cubs game at Wrigley Field in like 10 years (I think it was Sophomore year of high school). So I hit the web to find out a day I could fly up to Chicago to visit my brother and go to a Cubs game. But then it hit me...this is the last time I will ever have the chance to watch at game at Yankee Stadium. Oh boy...I am not really sure how I am going to sleep tonight.

To be fair, I hate the Yankees. I don't care who they are playing, I will be rooting for the other team. But there was so much history at Yankee Stadium. Babe Ruth. Willy Mays. Lou Gerhig. Hosting 37 of the total 84 World Series. Not to mention all the non-Baseball history. Pelé played Soccer there. Boxers have boxed there. Heck, Popes have spoken there.

So here's what I found out. I can fly up to New York on the morning of July 27th at 6:00 am, go to the 1:05 pm game against the Orioles, and then fly back to Atlanta at 7:00 pm. Baseball Tickets: $20.00 Plane Tickets: $219.00 Watching a game in Yankee Stadium: priceless?!?

It is no secret that I have sort of bucket-list already for my life, and I am not waiting until retirement to complete it. Why? Who knows if I'll make it to retirement! I think the mindset is a healthy one.

I have bought a home.
I have received a college degree.
I have watched a NASCAR Race from the Pits.
I have snorkeled in the Great Barrier Reef.
I have visited 47 states (almost my goal of all 50).
I have been to the Dome of Rock.
I have been at Times Square for New Years.
I have slept the night on the street in Pasadena to watch the Rose Bowl Parade.
I have kissed a girlfriend on the Eiffel Tower.
I have chased the pigeons in San Marco Square in Venice.
I have floated on the Dead Sea.
I have worshiped on Waikiki Beach at an Easter Sunrise service.
I have planted gardens in poverty stricken regions of South Africa.
I have built homes in Mexico and gymnasiums for orphanages in Honduras.

But should watching a game at Yankee stadium be on the list and is it worth $239.00.

I have to admit. If it weren't for the fact that I just spent way too much money earlier this month due to the unexpected vacation surprise, I would be a lot more willing to do it.

I guess I'll just sleep on it and hopefully not die in my sleep. Anyone want to join me?

So Allen comes to me this past week and says, "I think I want to do a show on online dating. Did you know there are over 1,300 online dating sites? What are you thoughts about online dating?" Before he even uttered all that, I knew this was going to be a topic where I was thrown under the bus. Sure enough, the topic title: "Is It Time For Andy to Use Online Dating."

If you have the time, listen to the whole show (30 minutes long). We had a good time. We had Les Parrott on there. Les is the founder of eHarmony marriage, and a very good friend of Dr. Neil Warren (the guy in the eHarmony commercials). Plus I got to play P!nk's U + Ur Hand and Avril Lavinge's Girlfriend as rejoins - and we all know I am weird and for some reason like chick rock.

But for those who don't have 30-minutes. Here are two clips.

Allen's Monologue

Andy's Questioning & Response

The best part was when Mike South, a porn producer here in Atlanta and friend of our show, e-mailed this:

I gotta tell ya, I had the pleasure of a lunch with Andy a while back and I think, that if a young lady is looking for a Good Christian man who isn't judgmental, who is smart and modestly decent looking. She couldn't go wrong with Andy...I know lots of girls would date Andy but It might not be a "good fit"

Is he saying I have a small penis? Seriously. I am calling you out Mike South. Although, you did say that I am modestly decent looking, so I'll call it even

Here are my problems with dating in general:

1. The older I get, the more "set" in my ways I become and the less I am willing to compromise.
2. I am a very weird mix because on one hand faith is super important to me, but on the other hand, I do not fit the "stereotypical" Christian boy (hence the lunch with Mike South and countless other examples).
3. I work super hard, find a lot of satisfaction in that, and am a borderline workaholic.

Here are my problems with traditional dating:

1. I don't know who is single and who isn't (and I am a horrible judge of age).
2. I typically can figure out exactly where the relationship would fail within 5 minutes of meeting someone (previous blog post about such ability).
3. I hate church small groups. It's like the bar scene, except instead of awkward drunk conversations, you just have awkward theological conversations and/or are asked to watch VeggieTales.

Here is my problem with online dating:

1. I don't want to have to tell the story for the next 50 years of my life that me and my wife met through a website some old dude created with his Ph.D. buddies.

So what's a boy to do? Seriously. I know I get about 300 visitors per post, so I want to hear from all you. Have you used online dating? Was it a good or bad experience? Would you ever use it or do you think it is an awful cop out?

I had to wake up at the ungodly hour of 7:45 am to take a friend to meet another friend to drive to a wedding in South Carolina. Of course, at that hour, I didn't want to talk, I just wanted to listen to the radio. So I turned to News/Talk 750 WSB and sure enough, Boortz was just starting his day.

What did he decide to open his rant about? The catcher who ducked and allowed the pitch to jack the ump in the facemask. Take a look.

Now, what you might not know is that this catcher lost his scholarship to the college he was planning on attending and his high school was fined $1,000 for the incident - which I don't particularly have a problem with. Scholarships are like the free-market: schools don't have any obligation to give them out.

But, of course, old-man Boortz¹ was going on and on about how he agreed with this and how people need to understand there are consequences for their actions. But it is precisely this reason why I think what this catcher did was brilliant.

The motivation for the incident was because they were unhappy with poor calls from the homeplate umpire. Now I was not at the game, so I do not know if this were true or not. But nevertheless, the pitcher & catcher perceived it to be the case, so they took the perceived poor actions of the ump and put some physical consequences to it: they jacked him in the face. Message received.

Now I know I am not the norm. I actually have no problem with Tony Stewart or Danica Patrick getting into a fight with a fellow auto racer who just put them into a wall. Or a bench clearing brawl when some pitcher jacked a batter in the head. Or two hockey players going at it because one hockey player told another hockey player his toothless smile was ugly. But this goes beyond sports...

We are a wussified country (yes I know I just made up a word). The same mentality that doesn't understand the importance of the Iraq War, or why the coddled generation is now in the workforce but thinks they are lazy, or that allows the seatbelt law to be in effect, is the same mentality that says "safety at all costs." We are trying to remove all consequence from actions. We want to be a white, vanilla, bland culture that's greatest virtue is safety and cordiality. We are a nations of pansies.

Not I though. I will take pride in the American history of sometimes saying, enough is enough, and because of your actions, there will now be physical consequences. Now, where's the nearest umpire...

I have wrestled with a question for years; probably since I was at least 8. It's an odd question, especially for an 8 year old. Ready?

Is death the only thing that makes life enjoyable?

As years past, and my belief in Christ grew, I have later rethought the following question this way: is eternal life really an eternal hell?

I very much enjoyed a short-lived show on Fox this past year called New Amsterdam. It was about a man (John Amsterdam) who had been alive since 1642, who couldn't age or die until he found his true love. Through out the centuries he married different women, held different jobs, but in the contemporary, he was a police investigator. Because of all this, the show had a weird modern crime fighting feel mixed with a quirky historical feel with a slight touch of a romantic comedy.

In the pilot, John asks the following question to his son (yes, his son is the older, half-black gentleman in the clip).

"To be human is to die. To die is what makes life worth living."

I remember being assigned a book to read in high school titled "Tuck Everlasting." I say be assigned because the only two things I remember about that book was: a.) not being able to participate in the Socratic Seminar because I was honest about my failure to read the book, and b.) the book was about people who found the secret to everlasting life and how they grew to resent it. I guess it was made into a movie in 2002 (which I was unaware of until writing this), and it's tagline sums it up: "If you could choose to live forever, would you?"

Seriously. I know I am like the worst minister ever because most of the modern presentation of the Gospel is built on the premise that all want to live forever. But that is not why I believe in the Gospel. Nor is it why I think you should believe in the Gospel. In fact, I often wonder if heaven is going to get boring after a while?

Think about it. If you never die, what motivates you? If you have unlimited amount of time to spend with your kids, do you still want to? If you don't have to eat to stay alive, do you still work? If you have just as much time to marry, or see the Pyramids, or watch the Cubs go the World Series today, as you did yesterday, why do any of those things matter?

The weird thing about it is that we don't really have a choice in this matter do we? We either are eternal souls, and as Colin Hay would say, "waiting for our real life to begin." Or, all there is to this life is the material, and when our 80 years or so are up, we're done. Not sure which is better, but I guess I shouldn't lie around and ponder for too long.

I should have known it was going to be like this. Friday, May 9: CJ and Andrea were scheduled to fly into Atlanta. The past week I had worked 67 hours to make sure everything was ready. Then on Friday, in the classic state of a "modern man," I cleaned the house, baked a cake, worked 8 hours, marinated chicken, paid bills, went grocery shopping, did laundry, and constructed a table. Why a table you asked? Because as I was moping my kitchen floor, I leaned on my old table and it split in half. So a run to Ikea and back at rush hour, and 30 minutes of drilling, bam a new table. That day was crazy. But little did I know it was just the beginning.

Here are some stats from the past 3 weeks:

• Miles Driven: 1,743
• Miles Flown: 1,543
• Money Spent Since May 9th: $1,954.64
• Money Spent Since May 16th (Asher's Arrival): $1,471.16
• Total Number of Different Beds Slept In: 7
• Total Number of Hospitals Visited: 3
• Total Time Spent in Hopsitals: 37 Hours

So what did I learn from all of this? Three things.

1.) Police in Charleston don't monitor parking meters, but they do make up stop signs for you to run through
It is true. I stopped paying the parking meters in Charleston, but this was only after I noticed that nobody else did either. Ironically, I was pulled over on by a bicycle cop (that's a first) for running a stop sign that wasn't there.

2.) Hospitals are disappointingly not like Scrubs
We all know I am a huge Scrubs fan. The whole time I was looking for a Crazy Janitor, or a Dr. Cox, or the Chief of Medicine. But nothing! There wasn't even a hot Dr. Reid anywhere. Although there were some hot nurses. This brings me to lesson #3.

3.) Married people are the absolute worst wingmen
Ok, so there was this hot girl who worked at the Ronald McDonald House where CJ and Andrea stayed. And so sure enough, Andrea goes to check out, and the girl asks about me. So she proceeds to tell her that I am a radio producer (good), my job is really flexible (good), and I am staying at the Motel 6. What the heck Andrea? Seriously!

No, he's such a good guy he rearranged his schedule to be here for three weeks. No, he's so great with our daughter Jadyn if he were just married we would consider making him the God-parent. No, he dropped $1,400 with out blinking an eye just to help us. No, he's travelled the world and been to tons of exotic locations. No, None of that? Just, he's staying at the Motel 6?

Heck, I would have even taken the Motel 6 reference if you would have prefaced it with 1.) he's slept on so many floors in third world countries doing humanitarian and missionary work, the Motel 6 is like the Ritz or 2.) he stays at the Motel 6 now because he is good with money and he doesn't care and it means his wife and children won't have to stay at the Motel 6 when they travel, or 3.) all the hotels were full and/or ridiculously expensive due to the Memorial Day weekend festivities.

Married people everywhere, take a lesson from this Scrubs clip.

Ok, maybe not the drunken weekend part, but you get the idea. That is what we call a good Wingman.

But all and all, it was a great extended trip. We had a great time and was worth every second and penny. Here's a look back, through pictures.

When Allen, Glenn and I travel, we sometimes take Glenn's plane. What I enjoy about that is we always stop off at Waffle House before proceeding onto the airport. I love the contrast of sectors of life (for those who don't know, Waffle House is kind of "dumpy" - but awesome waffles). Well today topped that. Why? Because there aren't too many days you wake up in a Motel 6, only to board a private jet. And that isn't where the fun ended.

We all know I am an aviation nerd. So when Pete (CJ's boss) offered to send the private jet to pick up CJ and I in Charleston, I was ecstatic.

We show up at the airport with our jet and Andrea and Asher's jet sitting next to each other on the tarmac. I try and look smart by picking out which jet is which, but I end up just making myself look stupid by picking out the wrong one. Luckily for me, I covered well and said, "ohh I have just been following too many flights on FlightAware." This prompted the co-pilot (Wes) to say, "ohh, are you a pilot?" And I responded, "I am trying to be." He responded, "well then, we'll have you up to flight deck." I think, "Awesome."

Right as we are hopping onto the plane, Boeing's DreamLifter was taking off out of Charleston. 99.9% of you aren't going to know how cool that was, but for the aviation nerd, this was a very rare site. The plane is designed to transport large parts of the 787 from the factories around the world, to Boeing's factory in Seattle.

We take off and head directly to Fort Wayne. At about 12,000 feet (10 minutes into the flight), Wes comes back and asks if I would like to sit up front. I was thrilled. I sat down and for the next hour or so, sat at the controls. It was AWESOME!

Then the most amazing thing happened. The pilot (Steve) and I are listening to air traffic control (like we should be), and then all of the sudden we hear instructions to another plane reference Air Force One (President Bush's plane). Steve and I quickly look at each other with a "no-way" face. He said he has been flying for years and never been in the same airspace as Air Force One.

We landed directly into FWA around 12:05 - right behind Asher and Andrea's plane. Asher and Andrea hopped in the ambulance. Lisa was waiting to pick CJ and I up. Dropped off the luggage and then went to Lutheran Hospital.

All and all, quite an exciting morning. Maybe that is why I passed out for 3 hours this afternoon.

Well that's about it for now. I will update you on the three things I learned while in Charleston (preview: one of them is that married people suck at being wingmen). But for now, just thought I would update you on the awesome day I had.

It seems like a weird way to title a post about a child hanging on for life, you know? The Good Life? Really? I mean come on. CJ and Andrea are basically staying in a community house, 900 miles from home, and separated from their two year old daughter. I am staying in a Motel 6; five miles down the road. How is this the good life?

It seems weird, and I of course can't speak for CJ and Andrea, but this past week has been a reminder of the good life for me.

This past week, we have seen all that is good about the human race. CJ's company rallying around him. The owner of the company sending the jet to pick CJ and I up. Andrea's family racing down to help. A newborn baby, not only surviving an early birth, but doing better than expected.

But even amidst all the great examples of humanity living up to its divine potential, it is also the small moments this week that have been such a reminder of the good life...

Running to Sonic for a late night slushy and laughing all the way there...

Driving from Hilton Head to Charleston and making goofy videos on the laptop...

Talking about how all the nurse's have got to be confused at this point at the three of ours special relationship...

It almost feels like high school youth group all over again. Who would have thought 11 years ago, amidst having babies, buying houses, making money and "growing up," we would still be enjoying the simple things about our friendship.

And then of course there is Target. Andrea has been walking too much and needed a wheelchair. But when she gets up to look at stuff, CJ and I hop in to goof around. So of course he convinces me that I can lean back in the chair and won't fall backwards. Well, take a look...

You can even hear Andrea two aisles over in the background saying, "You okay there Andy?"

It's truly been a good week, and I got what I asked for, a great story.

The lyrics don't exactly fit our situation, but when I think of the overall mood and theme of this week, Francis Dunnery's Good Life is playing in the background.

I am so tired. I am not sure if I have ever been this tired. Today was just exhausting.

Today started around 9 am. I worked for a couple of hours to get last nights show up on the web. We then cleaned the condo. Filled, then waited a half hour, to pick up Andrea's meds. Then picked Andrea up. Then spent an hour in a McDonalds. Then spent two hours at Target. It wasn't until 3:30 that we were on the road from Hilton Head to Charleston.

It was at this point I almost freaked out. I don't mind being on the road. I don't mind change. What I hate is transition. It took us forever to get off the island, and that drives me nuts. But the journey continues...

Two hours of driving in caravan - which we all know I am lead footed and am awful at driving in caravan. I actually am convinced it takes more energy on my part and I am more dangerous driving in that situation.

All this time trying to organize a live, talk radio from an iPhone.

Then we got to Charleston. Got Andrea and CJ checked into the Ronald McDonald house. Then headed over to the hospital. Andrea and CJ went up to NICU and myself, Nancy (Andrea's mom), and Chuck (Andrea's Mom's Boyfriend) took care of Jadyn and got dinner. It is at this point I also try and figure out what lodging options I have for the evening.

CJ and Andrea came down and we ran to get Andrea dinner. We then got into a fight with the Wendy's guy through the intercom. We got back and Andrea took Nancy up to see Asher. Hour or so later they come down. It is like 9:00 pm at this point.

So why do I go into this much (too much?) detail. Because I am exhausted and I wanted you to feel the exhaustion? Sort of...

But here's the deal. At this point CJ and I go up to see Asher and seeing that tiny, 5 lb baby boy, on a bunch of machines, and stroking his hair, and rubbing his stomach, and talking to him, and telling him about teaching him to wakeboard in the future, and sharing that moment with CJ as his new little buddy was getting stronger...man...it was worth all exhaustion in a way I can't explain.

For those that want the update. The nurse said they are going to try and take him off of oxygen tonight. It's a big step, but they feel he's ready for it (only 48 hours after being born). We'll know more tomorrow - and I am really looking forward to seeing the little guy again.